Lonely No More
by static-disturbed
Summary: B/A. AU! Angel is a loner and Buffy is popular. Last Chapter up now. READ
1. The new School year

Title: Lonely_No_More Author: Static-disturbed Summary: Angel Donnelly has never fit in. He's always been a loner and never had many friends. Buffy Summers moves to Sunnydale and takes an interest in him but is forbidden to speak to him by her new friends Cordelia Chase and Harmony Kendall. Will be B/A!!! Disclaimer: Buffy The Vampire Slayer belongs to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy Authors Notes: This is rated Pg-13 for language basically and violence and deals with subjects such as child abuse.  
  
The day couldn't have been more perfect. It was a warm spring afternoon, the sun was shining, birds were chirping and Angel Donnelly was miserable. William had given up trying to understand his best friend a long time ago. Angel was a good guy but when he was in a bad mood there wasn't any pulling him out of it. So when Angel was angry they spent the whole day like this. William would make pointless jokes and Angel would stare at him as if he was the dumbest person alive. He really didn't mind anymore. Neither of them had many friends. Okay so William had more friends then Angel but both of them had long ago been deemed the 'freaks' of the school.  
  
The boys had met when they were six. Angel's mom had been running a daycare out of their house at the time to bring in extra money. William's parents had been working a lot and Mrs. Donnelly hadn't charged much. The two had immediately hit it off and became best friends quickly. William was a little more outgoing then Angel but Angel was defiantly smarter. At least when it came to books. Angel's mom had died when they were eight shutting down the daycare. Mr. Donnelly was not able to care for three children (Angel and his brother and sister) being as he was un-employed and had sent them to live with their grandmother on the other side of town. Two days later he disappeared and they had lived with their grand mom since. As time progressed the boys became what everyone labeled as 'punk'. It had never been their plan but it had happened and they accepted who they were. They stood out drastically in the southern California high school. While most boys were tanned and muscled Angel and William were pale and more on the lean scrawny side. They didn't play sports and spent their time at the video arcades and at night they were in the mosh pits at the concerts of underground bands. But they liked who they were...at least most of the time. Angel walked along quietly staring foreword. William sighed and followed him.  
  
Buffy eyes darted around the crowded hallway. Looking for anyone who looked friendly enough to tell her where the main office was. She spotted a group of kids standing by some lockers. They looked nice. The girls were decked out in cheerleading uniforms while the boys looked like your typical jocks. Varsity jackets... jeans a little too small for them. She ran her tongue over her teeth and reached down to straighten her skirt. Her hand ran though her hair as she walked over to them. "Hi" Cordelia Chase looked casually over her shoulder and found the source of the voice. The person daring enough to interrupt her conversation with Parker Abraham's, and found it was the new girl everyone had been talking about. She was small, blonde, green eyes fairly nice clothes. Word around town was she had burned down the gym at her old school and had been kicked out. "Hello" "I'm Buffy Summers. I'm new here and I was just wondering if any of you could tell me how to get to the main office" "Well Buffy I'm Cordelia Chase.... head cheerleader. This is my best friend Harmony and that's her boyfriend Scott. This is Parker..." she smiled flirtingly at the newly single quarterback and then turned her attention back to Buffy. "Oh hi. So do you know where the office is?" Buffy asked again "Of course I do. I've only gone to this school my whole life. Come on I'll show you... oh no! Here comes the freak patrol," she whispered. Buffy's eyes followed her pointing finger to see what she was looking at. She watched two boys enter the building and stop and look around. One wore a red t-shirt with the words 'Screw You' written across the front and baggy jeans. He had bleached blonde hair and extremely blue eyes. He said something that made himself laugh but had no affect on the sick look on his friends face. The other boy was slightly taller with short brown hair only long enough to be spiked. He wore baggy black slacks with a pocket chain hanging on the side and a black t-shirt advertising some band she had never heard of. His skater shoes peaked out from under his too large pants and his dark brown eyes surveyed his surroundings quickly as if something was about to jump out him. Apparently he was right in thinking so because not two minutes after the boys stepped inside another group of football players were around them taunting them and shoving the bleached one down. "Where you been all summer boys? In your coffins?" one of the jocks leered. Buffy rolled her eyes at his stupid joke. God what kind of jerks were these guys? 'The kind of person you were' a voice in her head yelled. She shook it off and watched the scene which has erupted in the hallway "Oh come on you think vampires really sleep in coffins?" the blonde one asked getting to his feet. The jock looked stumped at the question; giving the blonde boy just enough time to knee him in the groin. The other boy with the dark hair laughed and the two of them took off running in the other direction before the fallen jock could recover. Buffy watched them go and bit her lip. Something told her that was not the last she would see of either of the two.  
  
"Oh that was sweet!" William yelled as the two poured into the boys' bathroom on the other side of the school. It was known as the 'smoking room' and no one came in there except them and the goth kids. Angel nodded his agreement. Out smarting a few jocks was all he needed to lift his spirits. William leaned against the wall and pulled cigarette from his pocket and lit up. Angel watched him. He didn't smoke. He thought it was stupid to waste your life away just so you can puff on a little stick and look cool. Of course some days he thought about wasting his life away anyway. "You hear about the new girl?" Will asked inhaling the smoke and blowing it out "No" Angel said simply "Member on the news how that school in L.A got the gym burned down? Word is she's the one behind all that" "Really? I thought they said they caught some guy" "They did but she was like his accomplice or whatever" "William your getting caught up in the rumor vine" he said pointing an accusing finger. "Hey I bet it's true" "Whatever.... so I think were supposed to go to class" "Jesus Angel. When are we ever on time for class?" "Never. Tell me again why that is" "We have reputations to protect. Go to be fashionably late" he said tipping his head to one side. After a brief silence the two of them burst out laughing. For a moment Angel forgot about all of his troubles.  
  
"Ugh those losers drive me crazy. They should like have separate schools you know... one for those anti-social losers and ones for those of us who actually care about our futures" Harmony commented as her and Cordelia walked with Buffy to homeroom. Buffy herself was a little annoyed that she shared a homeroom with both girls as well as several classes. They were already starting to drive her crazy with their ditzy remarks. The sixteen-year-old girls made their way to junior homeroom and Buffy prayed for someone to cover their mouths with tape. "Well welcome to homeroom. Some of you many of you know I am Ms. Crawford and I'll be your homeroom advisor as well as some of your chemistry teacher..." all the class looked to the door as it burst open and Angel and William sauntered in. "Well if it isn't a few stragglers," the teacher commented placing her hands on her hips. "Had to make an impression on the first day Ms. Crawford" Angel commented as he and William took their normal place for every class: the back row. Buffy watched him and gulped. He was extremely handsome. She wondered how the other girls couldn't see it. She watched as his friend nudged him and pointed to her. She had no time to turn around before he was staring at her. He smiled softly and she smiled back before turning in her seat to look at the teacher. He had the most gorgeous smile. Angel watched her smile then turn away shyly. "Looks like the new girls got a crush on someone," William whispered before burying his head in his arms and falling asleep. Angel smiled and pulled out his notebook and opened to a clean page. Maybe this year wouldn't be so bad.  
  
The bronze was packed the Friday night. Music pulsated from the speakers and bodies crushed together on the dance floor. Angel watched from the corner. He wasn't much of a dancer and this music made him want to shoot himself but every once and a while he and William made an appearance. William was usually able to find some girl from another school willing to be his date and spent his time dancing and making out with her. Angel didn't mind. Will had to deal with his bad moods all the time so he figured he could stand sitting alone in the club for a few hours. Angel knew he was in bad moods a lot and he hated it. But there was nothing he could do. Some days he just woke up so angry and lonely and he had no idea how to snap him out of it. Some nights he dreamt of his mom, which always caused a bad day and other days he dreamt of his dad. He didn't like admitting it but some days he really missed him even though the man was a bastard. Angel would never forgive him for leaving like that right after their mom had died. "Hey Donnelly" a large muscled form stepped in front of him creating a shadow on the table. He looked up into the eyes of Riley Finn the biggest dick in the world. "You know I saw your sister at the movie theater last night with some guys.... looked like she was really giving them a good time. I was wondering if I could get her number" Angel got to his feet and grabbed Riley by the shirt. That had been the last straw. No one talked about his sister "My sister is 14 and guess what she could kick your stupid ass any day" he pushed Riley into the wall. The football player recovered quickly and was soon pushing Angel to the ground. Soon the boys were engaged in a full on fistfight both of them getting an equal amount of shots. The crowd began to chant 'fight! fight!' and Angel wondered where the hell William was. "Hey look a fight" William looked up from where he had been kissing the girls neck. Her name was Susie and she went to private school. He looked over the balcony where she was pointing and watched Riley sucker Angel in the jaw. "Dammit!" he yelled running for the steps. He darted across the room and was soon pulling Angel away from the jock. "Angel come on!" no matter how strong his friend was Riley would always be stronger. The boys had relied on the same fighting tactics since middle school... hit and run. They took off toward the exit and on the way out Angel noticed Buffy the new girl watching them. 'Great now she thinks I'm a chicken'  
  
"I hate them!" Cordelia screeched. Buffy looked over at her and rolled her eyes. Theses people were so annoying but she had been sucked in. She was becoming one of them again. She just couldn't find the will power to escape the thrills of being popular. But Angel was so hot and she wouldn't admit it to anyone but she had dreamt about him two nights in a row.' "I mean poor Riley... his beautiful face might be ruined now. Just cause of that freak" "Actually... Riley picked the fight with him Cordy" she had no idea where she got the guts from but she was glad she had. "What?" the cheerleader leaned across the table her glaring eyes looking like those of some wild animal ready to pounce, "Did you just defend Angel Donnelly?" "Um...um.... no never" "I thought so" Cordelia sat back in her chair and Buffy cursed herself. 


	2. Disfunctional Families

Angel dropped his book bag by the door and closed it behind himself as he slipped off his jacket and sneakers. The last two weeks had been spent avoiding Riley as best he could. The football player was obsessed with making his life hell. 'Like it isn't already hell' he thought bitterly walking through the small house toward the kitchen. His house was really only big enough for two people but they did the best they could with what they had. He shared a bedroom with his brother and sister.  
  
"Grandma I'm home" he yelled leaning inside the kitchen door but saw no sign of the elderly woman who had raised him. He looked all around the yellow colored kitchen. It had been the same nasty yellow color forever and would probably stay that way.  
  
"Where's grandma?" he asked his fourteen year old brother who sat at the kitchen table completely engrossed in the comics section of the newspaper.  
  
"I don't know.... oh yea she had to go pick up Shelly from school. She got in trouble again" Trey and Shelly were twins. Angel sighed. Shelly was always getting trouble. Ever since they were little she had always been the bad twin and Trey was the good twin. He loved his sister a lot but Shelly loved pushing people's buttons. Making them as angry as they could get. Detention was no foreign word to Angel but compared to Shelly he was a saint. He was surprised they hadn't kicked her out of school yet.  
  
"What did she do?" he asked opening the refrigerator and grabbing a soda  
  
"You don't want to know" Angel turned and looked at his brother. Trey had shaggy dirt blonde hair and green eyes. He looked just like their mom. Shelly looked more like Angel with dark eyes and hair. They looked like their father. But they never told people that.  
  
"Yes I do tell me," he asked popping open his can and sitting across from his brother. The ancient table creaked and the chair wobbled under his weight but he paid no attention to it.  
  
"They caught her having sex with some guy in the bathroom" Trey said quietly waiting for he outburst that he knew was about to come from Angel's mouth. Angel was very overprotective, ever since they were little. He tried to be everything for the twins. Their mother, father and brother. He wanted to be everything their grand mom could not be even though she tried very hard. Growing up in their home had been hard. The twins had been five when their mom had died and Angel had been eight. Their grandmother at the time had been retired working part time at a local church and did not have the money to support three children. She had expected their father to come back but he never did and she was forced to come out of retirement and take up her former job as a bank teller. But this did not always pay the bills and they had been on and off welfare for years. Angel went through many small minimum wage jobs but his grand mom always made him quit fearing it would hurt his grades anymore then they already were. Surprisingly Angel did not burst at all but Trey could see his knuckles turning extremely white from the death grip he had on his soda can.  
  
"What? She.... who?"  
  
"Um some guy named Chris Stevenson" Trey said gulping. Angel looked as if he was about to pounce on someone. Hopefully it was Chris Stevenson and not him.  
  
"Are they dating?"  
  
"Not that I know"  
  
"What good are you?" Angel snapped and at that moment they heard a car pull up and Angel jumped to his feet. Trey gulped.  
  
Buffy's hand felt along the wall feeling for light switch inside her bedroom. She still wasn't used to anything in her new house. Once she found it she walked inside and let her bag fall to the ground before lying on her bed and surveying her surroundings. Her new room was painted such a bright pink that it made her eyes hurt. In reality it wasn't that bright but she was still looking for something wrong with this town. She wanted to go back home. She missed her friends and her sister. Almost all the kids at school thought she had moved because she had been responsible for burning the gm down at her old school. They were wrong. Her parents had divorced a month ago and her mother had decided to come to Sunnydale. Buffy's sister's name was Crystal and she had to live with her dad because they were only half siblings. Joyce, Buffy's mom, had met him a year after his first wife's death and Crystal was two. Before she knew it she felt the tears running down her cheeks and leaned into her pillow to try to hide them. Truth was she wanted to go home but she was glad her parents were divorced. Her father was a bastard. He was an alcoholic and when he got drunk he tended to be abusive. He always apologized once he was sober and tried buying their forgiveness. And for a while it had worked. He had promised to get help and everyone had believed him but soon it became clear that he was not getting the help he promised he would. She knew he had been un-faithful to her mother. Several times her or Crystal had walked in on him and other woman in the house. She wondered if her mother knew about all the mistresses. She probably did her father had been very clumsy about hiding them. Buffy had always wanted to tell her mom but she was too afraid of breaking her heart and betraying her father even if he was a bastard. She could only imagine how hard it must be for Crystal who was stuck all alone with him and probably his new girlfriend.  
  
"Buffy honey?" a voice called out. She sat up and wiped her tears away as she listened to her mother, Joyce Summers, make her way up the stairs and watched her bedroom door open and the woman walk in.  
  
"Hey mom" she stood and gave her mom a quick hug. Joyce was fairly young looking for her 45. Her brunette perm had yet to start to gray and wrinkles were just starting to show. Buffy thought it was astonishing due to all the stress her mom had been through through the years.  
  
"How was school?"  
  
"Okay"  
  
"Honey you know you really should start unpacking these boxes they aren't going to do it themselves"  
  
"I know mom I guess I was just.... you know secretly hoping this wasn't final but now I know it is" she lay down on her bed and lay her hands on her stomach  
  
"Honey I know this is hard. I miss Crystal and everyone back in L.A too but this our new start. It'll get better I promise" she kissed her daughters forehead and left the room. Buffy closed her eyes and was surprised at the first thing she thought of. It wasn't Crystal or her friends of even her dad. It was Angel.  
  
"You're wearing a whole in the rug... it's not like there isn't already enough wholes in it"  
  
"Shelly shut up! I don't know what to say to you. I have no idea how to react when someone tells me my fourteen-year-old sister was caught having sex in the bathroom at school!" he yelled angrily. Shelly winced but kept her hard face on. She was good at reading Angel's expressions and she knew he was disappointed. Hell she was disappointed in her self but she wouldn't tell him that.  
  
"You don't have to react! This is my business not yours"  
  
"No it is my business because I'm your brother. It's my responsibility because you don't have a mom or dad for it to be their responsibility so it's mine"  
  
"Gee Angel thanks for reminding me that I'm an orphan"  
  
"No! You aren't turning this into a Shelly pity party"  
  
"I didn't ask for pity"  
  
"Yes you did. You aren't an orphan. You have grand mom and Trey and me. Don't act like you were the only one to get the short straw in life. We've all been through this together. You cannot use your life as an excuse to be a screw up"  
  
"So I'm a screw up now huh?"  
  
"Not yet but you're getting pretty dam close Shelly. How well do you know this Chris kid?"  
  
"He's new I just met him and we used protection so what does it matter?"  
  
"Listen to me. You are fourteen! You are not old enough to have sex with anyone I don't care who they are. No one. Now go up stairs and don't come out of your room" Shelly uncrossed her arms and gave him the finger before marching up the stairs. Angel turned toward the door and stormed out heading anywhere he could be alone.  
  
Buffy found a sweater and walked outside and sat on her porch. There was a playground across from her house and she watched the wind blow the swings back and forth. Cordelia had wanted her to go to the bronze again but she had tuned her down. She wouldn't be able to deal with that loud music and all those horny teenage boys again. A figure came into view on the playground. He wore baggy red plaid pants with zippers in all different places all over them and a black t-shirt. She watched him sit on the swings and start to swing softly. Before she knew it she was crossing the street and her hand was on his back.  
  
Next Chapter soon! The romance will come eventually (soon) give me feedback and thanks to the people who did already 


	3. Speaking for the First Time

Chpt3. Author-Static-Disturbed Disclaimer- Like I said I don't own them. Joss and Mutant Enemy do. Summary- Angel doesn't fit in. Buffy likes him but her friends don't like him. Okay I'm sorry that my chapters have been short so far but I promise they will get longer. And sorry for the lack of updates. I've been having some trouble with the site I don't know if anyone lese is. Any way I won't be able to update again till Sunday but my next chapter will be longer I promise and the other characters (Willow, Oz, Xander, Doyle, Wes and Gunn) will all most likely be in the next few chapters. Well uh hope you enjoy and if it's hard to read sorry I'm new at this.  
  
Angel jumped when he felt the soft hand on his shoulder and stood up and quickly turned to see who was behind him. He was more then surprised when he saw Buffy Summers, the newest guest star in his teenage hormonal dreams, standing there looking slightly embarrassed. She was so beautiful. And she seemed pretty cool...it didn't fit that she hung with Cordelia and Harmony. He wiped his sweaty palms on his pants and wondered how long he had been staring at her. He scratched his neck and wondered what she was doing there  
  
"Oh I'm sorry if I interrupted your swinging or something but I live across the street and I saw you here...Well I just wanted to say hi" she stumbled over her words nervously. She had no idea why she was so nervous talking to him but her stomach felt as if it had just done flip flops when he looked at her  
  
"Hi. Buffy Summers right?" he acted as if he didn't know her putting his hand out for her to shake. Silently he prayed that his palms weren't wet.  
  
"Yea. And your Angel right?" she reached out and as soon as their hands touched both of them felt as if they had been lightly shocked and the electricity was traveling through their veins. He pulled away first and tried to remember what she had just said  
  
"Oh yea I'm Angel sorry I spaced there. So um I'm surprised you even know my name," he said taking a seat and gesturing for her to sit on the swing next to him. He watched her sit down and smooth her skirt out slowly before looking at him with a curious look on her face  
  
"Why's that?" she asked her eyebrows scrunching together.  
  
"Well cause your basically best friends with Cordelia Chase and the pod people...sorry that's what me and Will call them"  
  
"Ah. Cordelia and Harmony have been nice to me and all but I can't say that they've been nice to everyone. I really don't even like them" she confessed  
  
"Then why do you hang with them so much?" Angel asked in confusion.  
  
"Well...this is going to sound really shallow but...I'm afraid to be unpopular" she admitted searching his face for a reaction. When she found none she continued, "All my life I've been the popular girl that everyone loves... I've been Cordelia. But I realized that everyone doesn't love that girl. That there are kids like you and William who I was horrible too. And I don't like being that girl anymore... but I'm too afraid to not be her. That's who I've always been and it's like... if I'm not her then who am I? I don't want people to just forget about me. Sorry for dumping all this on you. You probably think I'm a complete freak right now" she said taking a deep breath and looking over at him finally. Angel smiled softly  
  
"It's not so bad being a freak. I mean of course you know there are those times when giant football players are trying to turn you into hamburger meat.... but there are other times when I know that I'm having more fun then Riley or Cordelia. Times when I know I'm happier then they'll ever be" Angel said then laughed "Oh god that was sappy!" Buffy laughed and was surprised at the happiness she felt. She had not laughed... really laughed like that in months.  
  
"Thank you Angel. That was very inspiring."  
  
"Glad to help... Hey you know tomorrow night me and Will are going out. You should come with us. It'll be fun Buffy real fun. Not sitting in the bronze with Cordelia talking about Parker.... but actually having a good time". Angel wanted her to come. He wanted her to come and see that he was more then just the school weirdo. That he was actually human  
  
"I wouldn't want to intrude" she said un-sure of her place  
  
"You wouldn't be intruding.... okay it's final you're coming. William and me will pick you up here tomorrow night at 8:00. And don't worry no one will see you with us", she tried to argue but her cut her off with a finger to her lips. He froze realizing he was probably stepping over some female boundary that he had no idea about and pulled his finger away as if he had been burnt.  
  
"Sorry" he mumbled and was surprised to see her smile. He sighed in relief and got up to leave.  
  
"Wait what should I wear?" she yelled as he walked off. Angel turned and looked at her  
  
"Buffy wear whatever you want. No rules tomorrow"  
  
The next night came quickly and Buffy was extremely nervous. She knew it wasn't a date but she would be with Angel. And she liked Angel.... a lot. She checked her outfit again. Angel had not helped her decide what to wear so she was just wearing jeans and a black tank top with a khaki jacket over it. Her hair was pulled back in a ponytail and she wasn't really wearing any makeup. She sat patiently on the swing and thought back to the night before. When Angel had put his finger over her lips she had felt completely calm... like he had some kind of power to solve all her problems. Frankly it scared her. She had only ever had one boyfriend in her whole life and that was Pike. Pike was the one who had gotten her into all that trouble. He had asked her to meet him at the school gym, said that he had something to show her. When she had arrived she had found the school gym ablaze. The police and fire department had arrived at hat moment. Pike had set her up. All because she wouldn't.... a loud rumbling sound drew Buffy from her thoughts and she looked behind her. The source of the noise was an old beat up Desoto in the middle of the street. The passenger door opened and Angel jumped out and started walking toward her. Buffy met him half way there and inspected his outfit. He was wearing baggy black pants held up with a studded belt and a black 'Sex Pistols' t-shirt. She was surprised to see that the tips of his normally brown hair had been dyed bright red and stood out drastically. His whole image seemed very sexy to Buffy. She was sick of guys with Khakis and Abercrombie t-shirts. Angel appeared dangerous.... unattainable to a girl like her. But something inside her knew she would be attracted to Angel no matter what he wore. *************************************************************************** "Hey" he smiled as they met on the sidewalk and took a moment to take her in. He felt a familiar drop in the pit of his stomach and a familiar sweat forming all over his body. He was always afraid he was going to make a fool of himself in front of her. Granted he had only spoken to her once before of course. But that had been more then a conversation. She had told him things he assumed she had not told anyone before and it made him feel good. She trusted him even considering his appearance. Usually girls didn't look twice at him because of his clothes... unless to make fun of him, especially popular girls.  
  
"So uh... nice car"  
  
"That's Drusilla. William and me bought her a few months ago. As you can see she didn't cost much" he said as they started walking toward the battered car. Buffy looked at him with amusement in her eyes  
  
"Drusilla?"  
  
"William named it. Apparently it's some girl he met three years ago that he's been in love with ever since but ever saw again.... ask him about it" he opened the backseat door and let her go in first before following her.  
  
"Well hello Buffy. I have to admit I didn't believe Angel when he said you were coming out with us.... he didn't threaten you did he?" William asked jokingly. Buffy laughed  
  
"No I came on my own free will". William smiled at the look on Angel's face. It had been a long time since Angel had smiled. Well actually Angel had never been a real happy kid. But suddenly it was like he was a new person and William had to say he figured the change had something to do with the blonde in the backseat. Revving the engine of his pride and joy he looked into the back seat  
  
"Buckle up children. Tonight's gonna be one hell of a ride".  
  
Keep giving feedback!!!!Next chap. Longer I promise. 


	4. A New World

Title- Lonely No More  
  
Author- Static-Disturbed  
  
Summary- Angel doesn't fit in at school and Buffy is the new popular girl who likes him... in this chapter Bufy is going out for a night with William and Angel. Oz, Willow, Xander, Wes and Gunn are all going to be in this chapter. Um Doyle will be in the future chapters and Angel's siblings will be back later on in the story as well as Buffy's family. Oh and the way I have made Wesley may blow some people's mind but I couldn't resist.  
  
Disclaimer- I don't own them. Joss and Mutant Enemy do. Chpt.4  
  
"Put some music on" Angel ordered his best friend in the driver seat. Ever since they had gotten into the car it had been nothing but one big uncomfortable silence. And there was another fifteen minutes until they got to Faith's apartment.  
  
"Yes sir" William mumbled looking for a tape on the dashboard. Buffy laughed at the interaction between the two. They were really friends. She had never had friends like that whom she could talk to about anything. She had never had friends who had really known anything about her. All her 'friends' had ever cared about was how much money her father made and what size her waist was.  
  
"Okay Buffy you decide.... Rancid or Pennywise?" William called into the backseat. Angel smiled at the look on her face. Something told him she had no idea who either band was. To him it was a bit of a foreign concept. All of his friends listened to that music. He supposed her reaction would be the same if she found out he couldn't tell the Backstreet Boys from N' Sync.  
  
"You've never heard of either have you?" Angel asked with a grin. She slowly shook her head no. William huffed and just put in the Pennywise cassette. Buffy could tell she was blushing.  
  
"Don't worry about it" Angel reassured her and watched her jump as the music began to blare from the speakers. For a minute Buffy wondered if she was making a mistake. Maybe her and Angel were too different to hang out. They lived completely different lifestyles. But all her worries were forgotten when she turned to her right and saw Angel playing air guitar to the thunderous music blasting from the speakers. He was so dam cute. At that moment he noticed her watching him and froze shrinking down into his seat while a deep blush worked over most of his face.  
  
"So where are we going?" Buffy yelled. William turned down the volume and looked at her  
  
"What?" he yelled  
  
"Where are we going?" she repeated. Angel sat up decided to answer her question  
  
"Um first were going to Will's cousins party then after that were gonna meet up with some people and go the Rat's Nest and see a friend of ours band play" he informed her. He silently hoped that nothing happened tonight that would scare Buffy away. Normally his friends were pretty cool people but it wasn't unexpected for things to get out of control at these parties. There would be drinking of course and it would be illegal drinking on most parts. He couldn't scare Buffy away. Not now when it seemed like he might actually have a chance with her.  
  
When the car stopped Buffy took a moment to look around. They had parked in front of a large brick apartment complex and it didn't take a genius to tell they weren't in the best part of town. Angel sensed her discomfort as they climbed out of the car and tried to think of someway to ease her worries. He did the first thing that came to mind. He slipped his arm over her shoulder surprising Buffy and himself. Buffy was surprised but she liked it. She calmed down the second he touched her.  
  
William watched the interaction curiously. Angel had never been too successful with the female population and he hadn't even shown any interest in a female since Darla, which had been over four months ago. William liked Buffy, she seemed like a cool girl but he was of course cautious of her. He and Angel had grown up in similar situations. Poverty and broken families had dominated their childhoods. Both of them had learned early on in life not to trust people until they had proven themselves. And he wouldn't trust Buffy until she had proven she really liked Angel and wasn't just playing a game with him. He wasn't about to let his friend get hurt. It just didn't seem right. Buffy was popular, friends with Cordelia Chase and she could have any guy she wanted. And well Angel was unpopular and anti-social. William just didn't understand.  
  
They walked up several flights of stairs. Angel's arm was still wrapped firmly around Buffy's shoulders and she stayed as close to him as possible. Buffy had never been in places like this. As they got closer to apartment 12B the sound of music and voices became louder and clearer.  
  
"Do I look alright?" Buffy whispered to Angel. He grinned  
  
"I don't think it would be possible for you to look bad"  
  
"Wait till you see me after I wake up...." she froze realizing what she had said and blushed, She looked up at his face and he smiled  
  
"I know what you meant.... here it is" William opened the door without knocking and entered. Angel led Buffy in by the hand and she said a quick prayer that everyone would like her.  
  
The small apartment was full of people. The music was playing from a portable stereo that sat a top the coffee table in front of a red leather couch. Buffy was surprised at the different people she saw. She had expected a bunch of guys with Mohawks and girls with piercings. But there were a wide variety of people. A brunette girl made her way over to them. She had brown eyes and her dark hair fell to her shoulders and was wearing a black halter-top and tight leather pants with big combat boots.  
  
"Where have you guys been?" the girl asked punching William jokingly in the arm. But by the pained look on his face Buffy guessed the girl was stronger then she thought.  
  
"Went to go pick up a friend. Faith this is Buffy. Buffy this is Faith" Angel said letting go of Buffy's hand and pointing at her  
  
"Nice to meet you" Buffy out her hand out and Faith slowly reached forward and shook it.  
  
"Nice to meet you B... you and Angel dating?"  
  
"No....she's a friend Faith" Angel said quickly sending Faith a 'don't screw this up for me' look over Buffy's shoulder. Faith nodded. Angel was always a nervous wreck when it came to girls he liked. Of course this Buffy girl seemed a bit too preppy for him.  
  
"Look who it is my main man Angel and his much more beautiful guest" a young man with shaggy brown hair slurred as he walked over to them. He was wearing a bright blue button up shirt with brown corduroy pants. Bufy could only imagine the horrible things Cordelia would say if she saw him.  
  
"Oh boy. Uh Buffy this is Xander and he's obviously drunk so pay no mind to him" Angel said as he watched his drunken friend stumble away. He watched him go with concern. Xander was never a big drinker, before he had time to ask Faith what was up another friend had come over to them  
  
"Haven't seen you two around this neck of the woods in a while" Angel smiled as he heard the British accent behind him and turned around to face his other best friend. Wesley Windham Price was a short British boy with short brown hair. He wore blue plaid pants that hung loosely on him and a white t-shirt. Wesley had always been Angel's other best friend beside William. But he didn't go To Sunnydale High. Wesley lived with a foster family in Los Angeles. He had been taken away from his father's home in Sunnydale after social services had found out that Mr. Price had been abusing Wesley for years. He was only allowed to come to Sunnydale on weekends.  
  
"Hey... Wes this is Buffy. Buffy this is Wesley" Wesley started at her for a moment then his face went blank. Buffy Summers. The same Buffy Summers who had made his last two years at Hemry High in Los Angeles hell. He couldn't believe she was here...with Angel.  
  
Buffy froze. She couldn't believe what she was seeing. Wesley. The same Wesley she and her friends had teased mercilessly since his arrival in L.A back in eighth grade. They had been horrible to him. And he was Angel's friend. And he obviously recognized her.  
  
"Well if it isn't Ms. Summers" Wesley said slowly watching her facial expression. He wouldn't be surprised if she pretended not to know who he was.  
  
"You two know each other?" Angel asked in confusion. Buffy looked down at her feet,  
  
"You could say that... we went to the same school in L.A" Wesley said quietly. Buffy looked up at him and then at Angel before running out of the apartment.  
  
"What was that about?" Angel asked Wesley. When his friend didn't answer him he went after Buffy.  
  
Buffy sat at he bottom of the stairs and tried to keep the tears from falling. The way Wesley had looked at her had made her feel like dirt and she knew she deserved it. He had just reminded her of what a horrible person she had been. She didn't deserve to be here with Angel and William. They were too nice. Not like she would have a chance with Angel after he found out everything, when Wesley told him that she had been ten times worse then Cordelia. Her whole life her father had made her feel like dirt so she had turned around and made everyone else feel like dirt. Until Pike. The way he had set her up had been low and evil and it had given her a taste of her own medicine. She had been on the other side of the trick and it hadn't felt good at all. Eventually Pike had turned himself in but until then she was kicked out of school, and her mother had no trust in her. But once she was aloud back to school she couldn't force herself to go. She couldn't go back and look all those people she had been so mean to in the eye. Those people like Wesley. The timing had been perfect. Her parents had finalized their divorce and her and her mom had left L.A behind. She had wanted a new start here but before she knew it she had become one of Cordelia's lackeys.  
  
"Buffy?" Angel called coming down the steps and taking a seat next to her "What's wrong?" he asked quickly seeing the tears in her eyes. Buffy looked up and saw the concern in his eyes and it made her heart melt. She didn't deserve anything from him. Especially his concern  
  
"I can't tell you. You'll hate me," she said in a small voice  
  
"No I won't. I don't think I could ever hate you. Now tell me what's wrong. Does it have something to do with Wesley?" he asked. Angel was very confused. He had never seen a person burst into tears just because they spoke to Wesley.  
  
"Yes. Remember how I told you that I used to be...kinda mean?"  
  
"Yea"  
  
"Well I wasn't kidding. I would make Cordelia look like a saint. I was the biggest bitch in the world and Wesley.... I wasn't so nice to him," she confessed. Angel nodded and took a deep breath. So the girl he liked was one of his best friends mortal enemies. He rubbed his temples and looked at her. Her eyes were red and puffy and she looked like she was about to be sick  
  
"Are you okay?" he asked  
  
"No. I'm not. I... I tried to escape the person I used to be but I can't there's always going to be some person that hates me and I deserve it. I don't deserve your kindness and I don't deserve a second chance"  
  
"Everyone deserves a second chance," Angel said quietly. Buffy turned and looked at him. He wasn't angry at all "Wesley will understand that you're trying to change Buffy. You just need to talk to him, apologize. I've known Wesley for years and trust me he'll forgive you. Might take him a while but he will" Angel assured hr wrapping his arm around her again. She leaned into his chest and wiped at her tears.  
  
"God I'm sorry. I'm like ruining the party for you," she mumbled enjoying the comfort of his arm around her  
  
"Don't worry about it. Come on lets go back inside" he pulled her to her feet and they walked back inside hand in hand.  
  
"Wesley? Can we talk?" Wesley looked at her closely. She looked as if she had been crying. He had never seen Buffy Summers cry. He had seen her make people cry but never the other way around.  
  
"I suppose. Outside?"  
  
"Okay" they left the apartment and stood in the hallway. Wesley examined his drink and waited for her to speak.  
  
"Wesley. I... this is hard um. I know that I was a bitch to you and a lot of other people for a long time. And I know that and I'm sorry. I didn't like who I was. My... I'm trying to change. I am and I'm sorry"  
  
"Why should I accept your apology?" he asked bitterly. Buffy gulped.  
  
"I hated myself Wesley. I hated who I was and I wanted to make other people feel bad about themselves because... you and your friends were always so confidant with who you were even though you didn't fit in. I was the most popular girl at school and still wasn't happy and I saw you guys who were so happy and... I wanted to make you unhappy too. And I was wrong and I'm sorry. If you can't accept this I'll understand"  
  
"I... I can't just accept you over night but I can try. You sound sincere..."  
  
"So friends...or maybe one day friends?" she asked. He smiled softly and opened the apartment door. He looked back at her and before going back inside he said  
  
"Maybe one day well be friends...one day"  
  
Sry this is all for today. I'll have the next part up tomorrow. This chapter might suck but it was written quickly. Tomorrow they'll be at the club and Shelly causes trouble. Promise next chapter will be better and Buffy and Angel will kiss soon I promise. 


	5. The Rats Nest

Chpt5 Lonely No More Author: Static-Disturbed Disclaimer- all of the BTVS characters are owned by Joss and Mutant Enemy. I own everyone that's not on the show. Summary- I know yesterday I said that Willow, Oz, and Gunn were going to be in yesterdays' chapter. Sorry but they are defiantly in this chapter. Anyway in this chapter they are at 'The Rat's Nest', which is a club I made up. Oh and someone asked if this was really how the punk kids in America are treated. I can't speak for every school but I know at my school and my friend's schools this is how we are treated. Anyway hope you like it and oh yea Shelly will be in this chapter.  
  
  
  
"Everything okay?" Angel asked walking over to Buffy and Wesley who had just walked in. He prayed that they had worked things out. He wouldn't know what to do if one of his best friends and the girl he liked hated each other.  
  
"Everything's fine" Buffy reassured him as she sighed in relief. It felt like huge weight had been lifted from her shoulders now. If Wesley could consider forgiving her then maybe there was still hope that she could start over.  
  
"Yes everything is fine...when are we going to the club?" Wesley asked. This was all very strange to him. This was the last place he would ever expect to see Buffy Summers. And the last thing he had ever expected her to do was ask for his forgiveness. But she seemed sincere... completely different from the last time he had seen her. And Angel certainly seemed to like her.  
  
"Right now. You have a ride?" Angel asked his friend.  
  
"No. I've got my bike"  
  
"Alright see you there. You ready?" Angel asked Buffy.  
  
"Yup" she followed him out and they found William and Faith waiting in the hallway of rundown building waiting for them.  
  
"Isn't this your apartment? You're just going to leave all those people there?" Buffy asked Faith who grinned  
  
"Yup. I know everyone in there and besides Xander lives there too" the two girls followed the boys outside and they all climbed into the battered Drusilla.  
  
"I've never been to this part of town" Buffy commented staring up at the warehouse. It didn't even look like a club at first glance. The windows were boarded and the walls were cracked. The only sign of life inside was the open steel door with the loud rumbling sound of underground rock and roll pouring from inside. The neighborhood resembled some from L.A. But she had never really spent any time in those areas.  
  
"Don't worry. There's nothing hiding in the shadows" Faith commented. At that exact moment a figure emerged from the alley behind the club and walked up to them. Buffy screamed and found herself in Angel's arms.  
  
"Whoa! Who's spaz girl with?" a voice asked and Buffy finally got a good look at the figure. He was a young African-American boy with a shaved head who was looking at her with an amused smile. He was wearing a blue work shirt (the type mechanics wear) with patches in a few places on it and baggy jeans with a chain.  
  
"She's with me. Buffy this is Gunn. Gunn this is Buffy" Angel said introducing the two. Buffy detangled herself from Angel although she didn't mind where she was and shook Gunn's hand.  
  
"Sorry... I'm a little skittish," she said calmly hoping she didn't come off like a wimpy little cheerleader. 'Um you are a wimpy little cheerleader' a voice in her head said but Buffy blew it off, smiling at Gunn.  
  
"Uh yea nice to meet you. Here comes Wesley" Gunn said as he rumble of a motorcycle filled the air and they watched as a shiny red motorcycle parked at the curb and the driver pull of his helmet. Buffy was extremely surprised that Gunn was right, it was Wesley...riding a motorcycle. She had never pictured him as that type.  
  
"You always have to make an entrance don't you?" William asked jokingly. Wesley grinned and joined the group.  
  
The first thing Buffy noticed when they entered the club was the mass of bodies gathered by the stage, pushing and jumping along with the band onstage. She knew what a mosh pit was but she'd never seen one up close like this. It looked violent and dangerous but exciting at the same time.  
  
"Word of advice.... steer clear of that area" Angel whispered in her ear sending chills up and down her spine.  
  
"Right" she agreed and followed the group as they got situated at one of the few wooden tables set up in various places across the large sparse room. The stage and pit were to the right of the club. The bar was on the left and the rest was nothing but tables situated in various spots. The ceiling was lined with dim lights and the walls were plastered with posters and flyers for bands she guessed had performed there. Buffy took a seat next to Angel and he put his arm across the back of her chair without even thinking about it.  
  
"You want a beer Buffy?" William asked.  
  
"Um no thanks"  
  
"Angel?"  
  
"Nope I'm designated driver" he said jingling the car keys in his hand. William left the table and Buffy leaned over to Angel  
  
"How does he get beers...he's only sixteen right?" she asked in confusion  
  
"He's got a fake I.D plus he knows the bartender here" Angel informed her hoping she wasn't getting scared away by the atmosphere of the club. Him and William had been regulars at 'The Rats Nest' since they were fourteen when it had opened. While the other kids had been waiting to turn fifteen so they could get into the Bronze Angel and William had been moshing at the Rats Nest. They had seen many bands play and had become friends with most of them. Some who were now signed with big record labels. The band on stage at the moment was ' The Dingoes Ate My Baby'. He and William had been friend with the guitarists and backup vocalists Oz for years. He lived and went to school in L.A, as did most of the bands that played at the club. Oz's girlfriend Willow also lived in L.A but was a regular at the club. Angel spotted Willow making her way over to them and waved  
  
"Hey you guys" Willow was a sort red head with bright green eyes. She was dressed in simple green cargo pants and a white 'Hurley' t-shirt.  
  
"Hey Wills... this is Buffy. Buffy this is Willow" he introduced. Willow smiled a large toothy smile. Willow was one of the nicest people Angel had ever known and she was extremely smart.  
  
"Hi..."  
  
"Oh hi. Wow you have really pretty eyes. Where do you go to school? Are you new?" Willow asked taking the seat next to Buffy. Angel laughed at the look on Buffy's face  
  
"Willow gets a little hyper when she gets caffeine in her system" he laughed. Willow shook her head  
  
"No caffeine I swear.... okay maybe a little soda but anyway Buffy tell me about yourself" the redhead persisted. Buffy smiled and started answering her questions.  
  
"Angel you getting in the pit?" Gunn asked as he stood up. Angel looked over at Buffy  
  
"Um I'll be over you know in there.... okay?"  
  
"Yea go ahead" she watched him go and sighed.  
  
"All right B time to spill" Faith took Angel's seat and Buffy found Willow and Faith both staring at her expectantly.  
  
"Spill what?" she asked innocently playing with the hem of her shirt.  
  
"About Angel.... what's going on?" the brunette asked impatiently. It had been driving her crazy all night. It was obvious Angel was infatuated with the girl. Any idiot could see that.  
  
"Nothing's going on. He just asked if I wanted to come out with him and William and I said yes"  
  
"So you like him" Willow stated happily  
  
"I guess...."  
  
"Of course you like him. Look it's obvious you and Angel don't have much in common. So you wouldn't go out with him if you didn't like him" Willow interrupted, her caffeine induced high causing her to talk extremely fast.  
  
"Okay so I like him.... a lot. He's a really nice guy and....so I'm totally in love with him okay?" she admitted and Willow clapped  
  
"This is so great Angel hasn't even dated since Darla...."  
  
"Who's Darla?" Buffy asked quickly looking back and forth between the two girls who both stayed quiet. She was about to ask again but at that moment the music stopped and the sounds of a fight filled the air.  
  
Angel's mind was somewhere else as his body was smashed against several other peoples. Something about being there in the pit helped him clear his mind. It was the easiest way he knew to let all of his aggressions out. All of the anger that was built up during the week at school slowly poured from him every weekend once he was in the pit smashing around violently. Thoughts of Buffy filled his mind and he grinned. She was the most beautiful girl in the world and he felt like he was never tired of being around her. The minute she walked in a room his spirits lifted. Gone were the depressing dreams and nightmares that had plagued his sleep since he was little and in their place were dreams of Buffy. He opened his eyes and looked around. He barely noticed her but he did. It was kind of hard not to in the outfit she was wearing. The sight of his little sister wearing some dress that barely covered her privates hanging all over some guy who had to be at least twenty was enough to send Angel way over the edge. He made his way toward her pushing several people in the process. Most didn't notice, as they were moshing anyway.  
  
"I'd step away from her if I were you" Angel said as calmly as he could. Shelly's eyes shot open and she detached her lips from the guy she had been making out with. Angel eyes had grown dark...darker then usual. The guy laughed and stood in front of Angel. Angel gulped. The guy had at least a head on him. Shelly stepped away nervously.  
  
"Who are you? Her boyfriend?"  
  
"No her brother" Angel said as scary as he could. Small crowds had gathered and were waiting for someone to throw a punch.  
  
"Well I don't care if you're her father. She's with me tonight now scram kid" the guy pushed Angel to the ground and before he knew it Angel was up and throwing a punch into the guys face.  
  
Buffy, Faith and Willow made their way threw the crowd and got there just in time to see Angel knee the large guy in the groin. Angel's nose was bleeding but that was the only injury Buffy could see.  
  
"Someone stopped them!" she yelled but n one seemed to be listening. The guy got up again and threw an extremely hard punch. Angel fell to the ground. And he didn't get back up.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Honey...Angel wake up" Angel's eyes opened and for a moment he was blinded by the bright light surrounding him. But once his eyes had adjusted he tried to remember what was going on. He was on the ground and his head was cradled in someone's lap. The soft voice calling his name seemed foreign yet oddly familiar. He looked up and found the source of the voice. Her blonde curls fell around her shoulder and her green eyes were glazed over with tears.  
  
"Mom?" he asked unsurely.  
  
"Oh look how big you've gotten and so handsome of course I'm not sure about this hair" she ran her fingers though his red spikes and laughed.  
  
"Mom?" he repeated tears filling his eyes as he stood up and looked around. They were in a field and all he could see for miles were daisies.  
  
"You know I love daisies," she said as if reading is mind.  
  
"Mom.... I miss you"  
  
"I know you do. I miss you too Angel but I'm gone. I've been gone for eight years you need to try to get some kind of closure darling. Trey and Shelly need you. Trey's strong...but he still needs you. Shelly.... she's lost Angel you have to help her or something bad is going to happen. She wants your help she just doesn't know how to ask."  
  
"But...why am I here?" he asked in confusion  
  
"You got a nasty bump on your head. Apparently you don't remember what I told you about fighting.... you have to go now honey"  
  
"No I don't want to go!" he yelled as the light began to surround him.  
  
"I love you Angel. And about Buffy don't worry. She really does love you" those were the last words he heard his mother say.  
  
"Angel? Angel?" his opened slowly and he looked around. He was in the back of Oz's van with his friends surrounding him looking concerned. His head was cradled in Buffy's lap. He felt the tears building in his eyes but held them in and sat up  
  
"The cops showed up...we had to bolt" William informed him. Angel nodded and leaned against the wall of the van next to Buffy. His head was pounding and he noticed Shelly sitting across from him with tears pouring down her face.  
  
"I'm sorry," she sobbed. He crawled across the floor and gathered her up in his arms; his mother's words still fresh in his mind.  
  
Do you like? I hope so. Give me feedback tell me what you thought. 


	6. Now What?

Title- Lonely No More Author- Static Disturbed Disclaimer- Not mine. Never have been. Joss and Mutant Enemy own it all Summary- Bufy and Angel are actually getting romantic now. Don't worry there is a lot of this story left. I plan on making it very long  
  
"So look I'm sorry about this..." Angel said shoving his hands into his pockets and looking around at her house. It was nice... a hell of a lot nicer then his house. And there was an expensive looking SUV in the driveway. His grand mom had been driver the same Buick for six years.  
  
"There's nothing to be sorry for. I had a good time you know until that guy tried to kill you but besides that I had a lot of fun. I haven't had fun like that in a while" she reassured him. Oz had dropped her off and Angel had volunteered to walk her to the door and then walk home by himself.  
  
"Really? Well good. I'm glad... wow aren't we in an awkward situation? Standing here at your door under the porch light" he laughed nervously, Buffy grinned  
  
"According to all the movies I've seen this is the part where you kiss me" she said openly taking a few steps toward him. Angel pulled at his collar visibly becoming more nervous from her bold comment.  
  
"According to all the movies I've seen, the moment I kiss you your mother will open the door" he counter parted but took a few steps forward closing the gap between them.  
  
"She's asleep," Buffy whispered as his lips descended on hers. He was so tall that she had to stand on her tipy toes and he put his hands on her tiny waist to hold her steady. They stayed like that until they both needed to break away to breathe.  
  
"I should get home," Angel said remembering what time it was. His mind was spinning. He felt alive...alive for the very first time.  
  
"Okay...why don't you call me tomorrow?" Buffy asked still reeling from the kiss. Her whole body was tingling. It was the most amazing thing she had ever felt.  
  
"I don't have your number," he said. Buffy swore inside her head. She didn't even know her new phone number yet.  
  
"Okay then why don't we meet up at that diner on Market Street? At 12:00? We can do something," she suggested. Angel smiled. He had a date with Buffy Summers.  
  
"I'll be there...bye" he leaned down and kissed her once again before walking off the porch.  
  
Buffy closed her bedroom door and as soon as she had entered her room she began jumping up and down with excitement. Her and Angel had kissed. It had been utterly amazing. He was a way better kisser then Pike. And he made her feel loved. She had never felt lie that before. Her father had used to call her names. He told her she was ugly one night. She never felt beautiful after that. Not until now. Angel made her feel beautiful by just looking at her. She had been worried about him when that guy had punched him and he hadn't gotten up. He'd been out for at least five minutes. The cops had shown up and they had hustled Angel into Oz's van. It had been exciting but she had been more focused on Angel then the thrill of her first police flee. As she changed into her pajamas she noticed the answering machine blinking on her telephone and pressed the play button  
  
"Buffy! It's Cordelia where the hell are you? Two nights in a row you've been avoiding us. You pull this again and you can say good-bye to any type of popularity Summers. If you wrong me I'll make your life a living hell" she heard the sound of the phone slam down and that was the end of the message. Buffy put her finger on the delete button and pressed down. She didn't care what Cordelia did to her. This was the end of it all even if it meant she would never be popular. She would never be the evil cheerleader again.  
  
  
  
The first thing Angel felt as he awoke the next morning was the throbbing pain on the side of his face and the rest of his body. That guy had certainly done a number on him. He wobbled over to the mirror and examined the large dark bruise that had formed where the hit that had knocked him out had struck. His stomach hurt as well and his back. Careful not to wake Trey whom he shared a room with he grabbed his bottle of Tylenol from his desk drawer and started to walk down the hall to the bathroom. It was early and he assumed his grandma was still asleep. After taking two of the painkillers he started to return to his room. Suddenly he heard a noise coming from Shelly's room and opened the door. She was leaned over her trashcan vomiting. He knelt by her and held her hair as all of alcohol she had illegally consumed the night before caught up with her.  
  
"You know you're supposed to do that in the toilet," he informed her as she sat up and wiped her chin with her sleeve.  
  
"I couldn't make it," she said softly then she noticed the bruise on her brother's face and the events of the night before came back to her. She had not known Angel was going to be at the club. She'd thought he was going to be at Faith's party all night. Once she had arrived she had began to drink and by the time the fight had broke out she had been wasted.  
  
"I'm sorry," she said quietly getting to her feet wobbly. Angel helped her over to her bed and sat down next to her.  
  
"I think we covered this last night in the back of Oz's van," he said  
  
"Frankly I don't remember much except... when he knocked you out... I was so scared that you were like dead or something" she confessed the guilt filling her.  
  
"Well I'm alive. Shell I don't know exactly what's been happening with you and maybe that's my fault. Maybe I'm not as good a brother as I should be..." he said quietly but she cut him off  
  
"No Angel! You're a great big brother"  
  
"Okay...but I still don't know what you're going through and I realize you know it must be hard for you not having a mom or dad to talk to but you need to tell me things. I can help you I promise," he said seriously as his mind drifted back to the dream he had had when he was knocked out. She grinned at him  
  
"Okay...hey who was that girl last night?"  
  
"I thought you didn't remember last night"  
  
"I remember the important stuff".  
  
"Where are you off to?" Joyce asked as her daughter made her way down the stairs dressed. Buffy hardly got up by 11:30 on Sunday. Buffy shrugged.  
  
"Nowhere important. Just out"  
  
"Oh. So you aren't going to meet that boy I saw you kissing on the front porch last night?" Joyce asked peering over her newspaper. She laughed at the look on Buffy's face  
  
"Mom! You were supposed to be sleeping!" Buffy yelled then covered her mouth. But it was too late.  
  
"I'm your mother it's my job to spy. He was an....interesting looking boy"  
  
"Yes he's very interesting and smart and.... I have to met him in twenty minutes so good-bye!" Buffy ran out the door and Joyce laughed.  
  
The diner was something straight out of a movie. Waitresses in pale pink uniforms with little hats bright eye shadow. Buffy sat in the back booth sipping at her coffee waiting for Angel to arrive. She had arrived ten minutes early because she was fleeing her mother. She didn't really mind her mom knowing about Angel. Joyce was a very open-minded person. Buffy was kind of glad. It wasn't like she had many friends to talk about her boyfriend with. She froze. Was he her boyfriend? She had no idea. They had kissed but she wasn't sure if that qualified them as boyfriend and girlfriend. She was so deep in thought that she didn't notice him walk up to the booth  
  
"Hi" she jumped and looked up to find him sitting across from her with an amused smile. He had a pretty bad bruise but he seemed to be in high spirits.  
  
"Hey...nice shiner" she greeted him  
  
"Thanks. I must say this is one of my more impressive ones. I'm not sure f anyone has hit me with that much force before...but I'm fine. Everything's cool" he informed her. She assumed he had reconciled with his sister. He was wearing a black 'Rancid' t-shirt and a simple pair of baggy jeans. His red tipped hair was spiked up as always. She was wearing a black spaghetti strap tank top and jeans.  
  
"So let's talk," she said looking him right in the eyes. He had the deepest eyes she had ever seen. They were an extremely dark brown; in certain lights they even looked black. They were so deep full of pain but yet still full of humor and joy.  
  
"About what?" he asked skimming the menu on the table  
  
"I don't know. I don't really know too much about you," she said shrugging her shoulders.  
  
"Okay. But you have to ell me your story afterwards"  
  
"Deal".  
  
"Well my name is Angel Donnelly. I'm 16 years old and I will be 17 in exactly four and a half months. I've lived in Sunnydale all my life. My mom died when I was eight. My dad left a week later. I have a sister and a brother. Shelly who you saw last night and Trey. They're twins and fourteen years old. Uh... William is my best friend since I was six and uh that's about it" he said shrugging. Buffy looked at him sympathetically. His must have been so hard losing his mother and father. Especially in such horrible ways.  
  
"I'm sorry about your parents. Where do you live now?" she asked curiously.  
  
"With my grand mom...ever since my mom died and my dad... um so spill. I want to know it all Summers" he grinned and leaned his head on his arms. She looked so beautiful. He could sit and stare at her all day  
  
"Well I am as well 16 years old. My birthday isn't until May though. I was born in Los Angeles and lived there until a month ago. Um I have a half sister named Crystal. Our dad married my mom when Crystal was one. Um my parents divorced officially a month ago. Crystal stayed there because my mom isn't her real mom and that's about it," she said. She looked up and found Angel smiling at her  
  
"What?" she asked blushing.  
  
"Nothing. You're just so beautiful". Buffy felt her cheeks turn red and looked down at her lap  
  
"Oh...." she said softly. Angel laughed...  
  
"Oh my god! Buffy Summers what are you doing with that freak?" Cordelia Chase's loud shrill voice interrupted their perfect moment. 


	7. Love?

Angel groaned when he heard the all too familiar voice calling Buffy's name. Leave it to Cordelia Chase to ruin a perfectly good opportunity for him to kiss Buffy. The cheerleader approached with her small army of cheerleaders following close behind. He found the way they lived under Cordelia's rule amusing. They did anything she said, wore what she told them to and dated who she told them to. It was completely insane. And Buffy was one of them. That small fact hadn't crossed his mind until he saw the worried look on Buffy's face. She was worried because Cordelia had seen them together. She was embarrassed of him.  
  
"Answer me Buffy what are you doing with him?" the cheerleader repeated angrily. Buffy was at a loss for words. She wanted to tell Cordelia to leave them alone and that she was on a date with Angel but somehow she became paralyzed with her age-old fear of being unpopular. She looked into Angel's eyes and saw the anger and pain written in them. After she didn't answer he stood up and left the diner quickly trying to ignore the sound of the laughs of Cordelia's soldiers.  
  
As he left the diner his pace quickened and soon he was speed waling trying to get as far away from Cordelia Chase and Buffy Summers as he could. He should have known. He should have realized that she didn't care about him. She had been curious about how the other half lived. But she had seemed so sincere and has hard as he tried he couldn't force himself to believe Buffy hadn't felt anything when they had kissed.  
  
Buffy watched him go and felt disgust fill her. Why hadn't she said anything? It was a big possibility that she had just let the love of her life walk out the door. The love of her life. She loved him. The realization struck and she turned to Cordelia  
  
"You want to know what I was doing? I was on a date with the person I love. Now stay away from me bitch. Come near me again and I'll kick your ass" the small blonde started walking toward the exit but Cordelia grabbed her arm and spun her around  
  
"You think you can do that to me? If you walk away from me right now I swear your social life will be hell.... actually you won't have a social life" she said with a smug smile  
  
"I don't care Cordelia now get off me" Cordelia let go off the smaller girls arm with a huff and watched her go.  
  
"She has no idea what she's in for"  
  
As Angel neared his house he heard the faint sound of someone calling his name. He turned and saw Buffy running up the street chasing after him. He contemplated leaving her and going inside his house but he stopped and let her catch up with him, hope that she really did feel the same way about him still faintly present. She was out of breath by the time she reached him and took a moment to catch it. He watched her stand there with her chest heaving and stayed silent.  
  
"I'm sorry" she finally was able to say, "I should have said something. I don't know why I didn't but after you left I realized something and I told Cordelia off. I love you Angel" she spat out and waited for his reaction. He seemed shocked  
  
"You...you love me?" he asked gesturing to himself  
  
"Yes. I know I haven't know you very long but I just know it I love you..."  
  
"I love you too. I never... I just do," he admitted cutting her off. They were both silent for a minute until Buffy jumped up wrapping her legs around his waist and the two became occupied in a hot make out session right there in front of Angel's house.  
  
Authors Note- Okay I know this chap. was really short but I wanted to update. I will have the next chapter up by tomorrow hopefully. I have to study for midterms plus learn my lines for drama club so I'm a bit busy. I'll try to keep steady updates. 


	8. School

Title: Lonely No More  
  
Author: Static-disturbed  
  
Disclaimer- Not mine never have been  
  
Chapter 8- The torture Begins  
  
Monday morning came to quickly for Buffy. She was dreading returning to school. She wasn't sure what kind of torture Cordelia would devise for her but she knew it would be bad. She did not underestimate the cheerleader's abilities at being as evil as possible. Even though she was dreading Cordelia's wrath she was also looking forward to seeing her boyfriend. She dressed in khaki jeans and a blue t-shirt and pulled her hair into a messy bun as she made her way down the stairs. Her and Angel had arranged for him and William to pick her up to go to school.  
  
"Morning Honey...you seem like your in a good mood" Joyce commented as Buffy hummed a little tune while pouring herself some orange juice.  
  
"I am...sorta. I think I'm finally adjusting to Sunnydale life" the blonde girl commented and at that moment a knock came at the door. Buffy skipped toward the door happily knowing who was on the other side. Joyce followed her curiously.  
  
William rolled his eyes as Buffy and Angel kissed. He was about to cough loudly to get them to break apart but someone beat him to it. The three of them looked up at Buffy's mother and Angel blushed.  
  
"Mom this is Angel my boyfriend and William Angel's best friend" Buffy introduced. Angel smiled sheepishly. He had completely forgotten about her mother and the fact that he would have to meet her if he knocked on the door. But Mrs. Summers smiled warmly and put her hand out for him to shake, which he did. Angel was glad he had opted not to wear his 'parents suck' t-shirt.  
  
"Well were going to be late for school," Angel said grabbing Buffy's hand and pulling her to the car. Buffy laughed and waved good-bye to her mom.  
  
"Since when are you worried about being late?" she asked playfully as her and him pilled into the backseat and William started the car.  
  
"Since I met your mother" Angel said putting his arm around her shoulder. Buffy leaned into him and as they drove to school taking and laughing and for a moment she forgot all about Cordelia Chase.  
  
"Check this out" Riley whispered to Parker pointing to the three people walking down the hallway. They watched in shock as Angel Donnelly put his arm around Buffy Summers while William walked beside the both of them. Riley couldn't believe his eyes. He had known her and Cordelia had gotten into a fight but this was crazy. She was hanging with the biggest losers in the world. And she and Donnelly seemed to be pretty comfy. Secretly Riley had developed a thing for the new blonde girl, almost all the guys did. There was a bet running to see who could get her into the sack first but it wasn't easy. Buffy wasn't like the other girls she was independent. Riley liked that. He liked challenges and it would be even more glorious when he got Buffy Summers into his bed.  
  
Buffy was laughing at William's impression of one of their teachers as they walked down the hall but her smile soon faded as they neared her locker. All of her books were on the floor and the locker itself was covered in graffiti and toilet paper. The words 'Loser', 'Slut', and 'Freak' were spray painted in capital letters across her locker. Cordelia Chase and her cordettes walked by smiling mischievously. Bufy watched them go quietly but Angel was not so friendly.  
  
"Your such a bitch" he said marching up to the brunette. Cordelia looked at him with an amused smile.  
  
"What did you call me?"  
  
"A bitch...do you need me to spell it? B-i-t-c-h. I know you aren't very big on reading Cordelia but I would assume you would be pretty familiar with that word at least" he said crossing his arms over his chest and speaking very slowly. A small crowd gathered and a few people giggled at Angel's remark.  
  
"Listen you little freak..."  
  
"Come on Cordy you really need a new name for me. Have long have you been using 'freak'? Since third grade? Now you on the other hand I can think of quite a few for. Slut, Whore, Brat. Spolied, Self-centered all come to mind"  
  
"Oh please Angel stop trying to be all high and mighty. The only reason Buffy is even with you is because she's trying to be all 'bad girl'. And you're so pathetic you fell right into her little game. Besides you know you want me. Every guy in this damn school loves me and you know you do to"  
  
"Cordelia I'm gonna let you in on something, the only reason the guys flock to you is because they know you're easy. You didn't actually think it was because of your personality did you?" he asked with a grin. Cordelia screeched and stormed away. A few people in the hall clapped and Buffy walked up to Angel  
  
"That was great...you defending my honor and all" she said imitating a little girl  
  
"Did it make me seem more manly?" he asked grinning  
  
"Very manly" she assured him with a laugh  
  
"Good then my mission has been accomplished. Come on lets clean up your books" he took her by the hand and they walked over to her locker where William was waiting.  
  
"That was pretty funny of course you know they're going to have it out twice as bad for us now" William pointed out.  
  
"Who cares?" Buffy asked. The two boys looked at her and grinned.  
  
Short Chapter but I will definitely have the next chapter up tomorrow. This chapter kind of sucked but whatever. Next chapter.... fathers 


	9. Fathers

Chpt. 9- Fathers  
  
Summary- Ok in this chapter Buffy and Angel both have to deal with their fathers. Buffy's dad comes for a visit and Angel's father asks for a second chance to be in his children's lives. Is he sincere? Read to find out  
  
Disclaimer- Everyone from the BTVS and Angel worlds aren't mine. Everyone you never heard of before is.  
  
AN- I was gonna update earlier but I was watching the football game and right now my entire city is in a state of depression because the Eagles lost (me included), If you aren't from Philadelphia you don't understand the passion we have for our sports. Things at the Vet may get ugly.  
  
  
  
"Has anyone ever noticed that Riley Finn has a keen resemblance to a fish?"  
  
"Actually yea I have"  
  
"Me too", Buffy, Angel, and William walked side by side by side down the sidewalk towards Buffy house. It was mid November and the three were basically inseparable. Buffy and Angel's relationship was strong and William liked Buffy as a new addition to their group. She was like a sister to him. They spent a lot of time at Buffy's house just for the sheer reason that her mom was such a nice lady. She had taken to the two boys like her own sons. Angel's grandmother had never met Buffy and Angel didn't plan on introducing her any time soon. Wills parents weren't very much like parents at all. He lived with his father and his mother was currently in jail for drug possession. As they got closer to the house suddenly Buffy stopped dead in her tracks.  
  
"What's wrong baby?" Angel asked seeing that is girlfriends face had gone as white as a ghost. He followed her eyes and saw that there was an unfamiliar car in her drive way. It was an expensive looking shiny red sports car.  
  
"That's my dad's car," she said quietly. For a minute she felt like she was back in L.A coming home from school and afraid that her dad was home. She had no idea hat he was doing there but she didn't want to go in the house. Angel had heard a few stories about Hank Summers. Namely that he was a drunk.  
  
"Maybe your sister is here," he said trying to lift her spirits. Buffy's eyes immediately brightened. Angel knew how much Buffy missed her sister.  
  
"You guys come in with me?" she asked quietly  
  
"Of course that's what friends are for" William re-assured her with a goofy grin. Angel took her hand in his and squeezed it reassuringly as she opened the front door. Buffy was scared. Scared of her father. She peered around and heard voices coming from the living room. There were three voices but only one mattered at the moment. She let go of Angel's hand and dashed into the other room.  
  
"Crystal?" she asked entering the room. Her sister was standing by the couch near her mother. She turned to Buffy with a bright smile and ran over to embrace her sister. Angel and William entered behind her and saw the scene. Angel looked closely at the middle aged balding man who sat on the cough with his arms crossed over his chest in an angry manner. Buffy pulled away from her sister and Angel smiled at the smile on his girlfriends face. She was beaming. That is until her gaze drifted to the couch and she noticed her father sitting there.  
  
"Dad...hi" she managed to squeak out. Her father had a way of intimidating her and making her feel incredibly small without even saying a word to her. He had said enough in the past.  
  
"Buffy how are you?" he asked without getting up from his seat.  
  
"Fine dad"  
  
"And who are these two?" Hank asked gesturing to Angel and William. He looked at them both closely. The taller dark haired one was wearing a black t-shirt and black cargo type pants with zippers on them. The smaller one had on a black sweatshirt and baggy jeans. The taller one had dyed red hair. He gave them a disgusted looked and then turned to Buffy expectantly  
  
"This is my boyfriend Angel and my friend Will" Buffy said quietly. Crystal broke into a smile  
  
"Your boyfriend? Hi...I'm Crystal" she reached out and shook Angel's hand while Hank Summers jumped to his feet  
  
"This little hoodlum is your boyfriend...no way. What were you thinking Joyce you must be insane. No you are you're just a dumb little bitch" the man exclaimed angrily at Joyce. Angel and Will were both taken back while Buffy and Crystal just stepped back and put their heads down  
  
"You two little dirt bags get out of here," Hank said getting in Angel's face. Angel didn't flinch  
  
"I don't think so. I'm not leaving them here with you" Angel said crossing his arms. Buffy stepped behind Angel and Hank looked around angrily  
  
"Come on Crystal were leaving!" he yelled  
  
"No she isn't. Crystal is staying her with me and if you want to argue take me to court. We have witnesses of your behavior Hank. Just leave" Joyce Summers said staying as calm as possible. Hank looked around once before storming out slamming the door behind him.  
  
"He used to beat us...call us names...he's a drunk and he has a bad temper" Buffy explained to her boyfriend and best friend as they reclined on her bed. She was resting against Angel's chest trying not to cry. Crystal sat at Buffy's desk listening to her little sister explain her fathers behavior. Crystal was so glad to be home. Sure this wasn't her home and she'd never been there before but wherever her sister and mom were, her home was. Joyce wasn't her real mom but she loved her like she was.  
  
"It's okay" Angel promised wrapping her in a hug and kissing the top of her head. Buffy sighed and let herself be comforted. Angel made her feel extremely safe. The way he had stood up to her father had been the biggest relief. She wasn't sure what would have happened if they had been alone with her father. He was capable of anything.  
  
"So...you staying here?" William asked Crystal. Crystal looked a bit like Buffy in the nose but she had dark hair and blue eyes. William found her quite beautiful  
  
"I guess...I hope. I'll be eighteen in three months and after that I can stay wherever I want" the older Summers girl said.  
  
"I have to go home," Angel whispered in Buffy's ear. She didn't want him to go but she got up and let him stand.  
  
"If you have to" she put her arms around his neck and gave him a long kiss. When they finally broke away Angel said his good-byes and left the room leaving William, Buffy and Crystal to talk.  
  
  
  
As he walked home his mind kept drifting back to how scared Buffy had looked when she had saw her fathers car in the driveway. It made his heart break for her. He could only imagine how horrible it had been being alone with that man everyday. It made him angrier then he had ever been to imagine anyone hitting his Buffy. He walked inside his house and as he was kicking his shoes off Trey and Shelly approached him. They said nothing but just handed him an envelope addressed to all three of them.  
  
"What's this?" he asked seeing that it was already opened  
  
"Just read it," Shelly said and Angel noticed the tears in her eyes and the anger in Trey's. He pulled the piece of loose leaf from the envelope and started to read  
  
Dear Angel, Trey and Shelly,  
  
I've wanted to write this letter for quite a while, but I have never had the guts to do it until now. I'm writing this letter to ask for a second chance. I miss and love all three of you. After your mother passed I couldn't deal. Life was too hard. I never meant to stay away for so long. My wife has encouraged me to do this. We have a four-year-old daughter. Her name is Aimee. I loved your mother very much please know that. I know I don' deserve another chance but I hope you can find it in your heart to at least meet with me. I will be at the restaurant on Fifth Street near our old house at four o'clock on the 26th. If you don't show up I'll leave you alone and never bother you again. Sincerely, Your Father  
  
Angel gripped the paper tightly and took a deep breath.  
  
"What are we going to do?" Shelly asked quietly.  
  
"I...I don't know...I don't know if I'll be able to see him" Angel admitted angrily. He wasn't sure if he would be able to go see the man that had left them. Especially now so many years alter. His father was married and had a new family and he just expected them to love him again?  
  
"Well we need to decide. The 26th is two days from now," Trey said  
  
  
  
"What should I do?"  
  
"I don't know" Buffy answered truthfully from where she sat next to Angel on her front porch. He had showed up that morning seeming very preoccupied with something. Then he had told her about the letter him and his brother and sister had received.  
  
"I can't just forgive him. I mean after everything he did does he just expect us to show up and be happy to see him?" he asked angrily. Buffy could hear the insecurity in his voice. She knew it must hurt. For your father to leave and then start a whole new family and never even bother to call until eight years later.  
  
"Angel I don't know what you should do and I can't tell you what to do but... you told me everyone deserves a second chance right? Well maybe he really is sorry. Maybe if you give him the chance you'll be glad for it" she said softly. Angel nodded. Her words made sense.  
  
"I don't know what I'm going to do. Right now I just want to sit here with you" he leaned over and captured her lips with his  
  
"Sounds good to me" Buffy murmured  
  
  
  
November 26th  
  
"I'm going", Angel and trey looked up from where they sat on the couch. Shelly as wearing a pink skirt and a white top and had her hair curled neatly around her face, "I don't even remember him. I need to see him," she explained. Neither of her brothers said anything and Shelly walked out. Angel couldn't go. He could not find it in himself to forgive and he didn't think he ever would. Trey did not feel any need to meet his father.  
  
  
  
Angel entered the restaurant and scanned the tables. He spotted her sitting alone at a table in the back. He had gotten a call from one of the waitresses who had asked Shelly for her phone number because it was obvious the fourteen year old wasn't going anywhere. He hadn't shown up. The bastard hadn't shown up. He kneeled down in front of Shelly and she immediately fell into his arms crying.  
  
  
  
Buffy heard a tap at her window and turned around quickly to see Angel seated on her roof. She walked over and opened it and for the first time saw the tears on his face.  
  
"He didn't show. Shelly went and he didn't show. That bastard didn't show," he sobbed. Buffy immediately knew whom he meant and pulled Angel inside and wrapped him in a hug wishing she could kill Mr. Donnelly herself. 


	10. Depression

Title- Lonely No More  
  
Author: Static-disturbed  
  
Summary- Hey I'm finally updating. I'm a slacker. Anyway just for anyone who likes me story you all need to read 'Agony in the Trenches' by Angelfirenze. It is a journal type thing from Angel in my story's perspective. Something are different but the story is mad cool so go read it and thanks to Angelfirenze for liking my story so much. The song in this chap is 'Emotionless' by Good Charlotte my favorite band ever. You all need to go listen to both their records. Great 'new Punk' rock band. The story is gonna get pretty angsty the next few chapters but things will eventually get better  
  
Disclaimer- they aren't mine. I'm just a simple punk girl from Philly. Joss and Mutant Enemy own them sadly. Again the song is 'Emotionless' by Good Charlotte.  
  
  
  
Hey Dad I'm writing to you  
  
Not to tell you, that I still hate you  
  
Just to ask you how you feel  
  
And how we fell apart how this fell apart  
  
Are you happy out there in this great wide world?  
  
Do you think about your sons?  
  
Do you miss your little girl?  
  
When you lay your head down how do you sleep at night?  
  
Do you even wonder if we're all right?  
  
We're alright  
  
We're alright  
  
It's been a long hard road without you by my side  
  
Why weren't you there all the nights that we cried?  
  
You broke my mother's heart, you broke your children for life  
  
It's not OK but we're alright  
  
I remember the days you were a hero in my eyes  
  
But those were just a long lost memory of mine  
  
I spent so many years learning how to survive  
  
Now I'm writing just to let you know that I'm still alive  
  
The days I spent so cold, so hungry, were full of hate  
  
I was so angry, the scars run deep inside this tattooed body  
  
There's things I'll take to my grave, but I'm OK, I'm OK  
  
It's been a long hard road without you by my side  
  
Why weren't you there all the nights that we cried?  
  
You broke my mother's heart, you broke your children for life  
  
It's not OK but we're alright  
  
I remember the days you were a hero in my eyes  
  
But those were just a long lost memory of mine  
  
I spent so many years learning how to survive  
  
Now I'm writing just to let you know that I'm still alive  
  
And sometimes I forgive, yeah and this time I'll admit  
  
That I miss you, said I miss you  
  
It's been a long hard road without you by my side  
  
Why weren't you there all the nights that we cried?  
  
You broke my mother's heart, you broke your children for life  
  
It's not OK but we're alright  
  
I remember the days you were a hero in my eyes  
  
But those were just a long lost memory of mine  
  
I spent so many years learning how to survive  
  
Now I'm writing just to let you know that I'm still alive  
  
And sometimes I forgive, yeah and this time I'll admit  
  
That I miss you, said I miss you...hey Dad  
  
  
  
Angel listened to the lyrics from where he sat on his bed. The song hit a little too close to home. Except for the part about their mother Angel might as well have been singing the song himself. What was with dads and leaving their kids? The song gave him a weird sense of comfort that he wasn't the only one out there who had to deal with having a crappy father. He pressed repeat on the stereo and listened as the song came on again. His dad had been a hero to him once. He had been the coolest. They would go fishing every weekend. He could remember when his dad taught him how to bait the line and cast it. He had felt so grown-up standing on the dock with his fishing hat next to his dad. They never caught anything but that wasn't the point. And every weekend after they hadn't caught anything they would always promise 'next weekend we'll catch one' and then abruptly there hadn't been any more weekends. His dad was gone and he never got to catch a fish. He hadn't even realized he was crying until he felt the tears on his upper lip. But he didn't stop, he just cried and listened to the words of the song and wondered why God hated him.  
  
"Hey" William said taking a close look at his best friend who had just entered the school buildings. Angel didn't look too good. His eyes were sunk in and bloodshot and if it was possible his skin looked paler then usual.  
  
"Are you sick or something?"  
  
"Sick in the head maybe" Angel commented quietly closing his locker with a little too much force being as it slammed and the sound even startled him as well as several people around him. He turned and saw Will looking at him with concern.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Nothing...you don't look so good Angel" he said as they started walking  
  
"When do I ever look good?" Angel asked sarcastically  
  
"Any other time I'd say never but right now you look like a dying old man on crack"  
  
"Thanks Will. Where's Buffy?" Angel said just noticing his girlfriend's absence.  
  
"I don't know I haven't seen her yet. Maybe she's sick. Maybe she caught it from you"  
  
"I'm not sick!" Angel yelled and walked away from his best friend. For the first time William was utterly clueless about what was going on in Angel's head.  
  
  
  
"Buffy" she spun around and rolled her eyes when she saw Riley staring at her.  
  
"What Riley?" she almost laughed thinking of the way William had called him 'fish boy'.  
  
"I feel really bad about what Cordelia did to you and I was thinking to make it up to you I could take you out for ice-cream later" he leaned against the locker next to hers and gave her his famous smile. Every girl he had ever given the smile was completely under his control.  
  
"Um no thanks but you know what you can do? Tell Cordy she's big ho. Later fish boy I have to go see my boyfriend" Buffy walked away and Riley watched her go in confusion  
  
"Fish boy?"  
  
As she rounded the corner Buffy walked smack dab into a familiar chest.  
  
"Hey just the boyfriend I was looking for" she said smiling at him. Angel smiled back but she could tell just by looking in his eyes that his mind was somewhere else. Obviously his mind was. His hair was uncombed and he looked as if he hadn't slept in days.  
  
"Are you sick?" she asked. His facial changed  
  
"Why do people keep asking that?" he demanded running his hands through his hair. Buffy noticed for the first time that his hands were shaking.  
  
"Angel what's wrong?" she ordered.  
  
"Nothing. I'm fucking wonderful", he said through gritted teeth then headed in the other direction. Buffy watched him exit the school and wished she could figure out some way to help her troubled boyfriend. She went off to find William.  
  
  
  
The Rats Nest was quiet during the day. It was different then every other time Angel had seen it. It seemed so desolate and lonely. It just proved that not everything was at it seemed. Life was just a bunch of lies. The only other person there was the bar tender that Angel had come to know by name.  
  
"Hey Doyle" he said sliding into a stool. The Irish man frowned at him  
  
"You know I can't serve you anything," the young bartender said with his Irish accent. Doyle's hair was done up in blue spikes (AN- I thought it'd be cool cause demon Doyle had blue spikes. RIP Glenn Quinn)  
  
"Come on Doyle...and don't tell me I look sick cause I'll beat the crap out of you"  
  
"Can't blame your friends for thinking so. You don't look good Angel" Doyle commented with concern in his voice  
  
"Why would I? My life's just a big freaking game, Every time I finally think I've made it to a point where I'm really happy something comes along and knocks me back down on my ass. I'm just sick of this...stupid life"  
  
"Angel" Doyle said warningly. He'd never seen Angel looking so helpless and lost. The young man smiled softly and got up from the stool realizing Doyle wasn't going to give him any liquor,  
  
"Don't worry Doyle I'm not gonna go blow my brains out or anything" and with that he left the bar with his hands shoved deep into his pockets. 


	11. Lost

Chapter 11  
  
Summary- Lyrics are 'Through these Eyes' by Social Distortion another great punk rock band. I'm gonna try to have a good punk song that pertains kind of to the chapter for every chapter from now on. There is still quite a lot of this story left to go. I like long stories. Anyway I hope you like it. May be a bit depressing but hey what can I say I love some good teenage angst.  
  
Disclaimer- Song is by 'Social Distortion', BTVS & Angel are owned by Joss and Mutant Enemy  
  
Rating- I'm not sure this chapter may be bordering near R because THERE IS TALK OF AND THOUGHTS OF SUICIDE IN THIS CHAPTER. Don't worry eventually the story will be happy again. ANGST warning for this chapter,  
  
  
  
  
  
Through these eyes I've seen love and I've seen hate  
  
I've seen the violence and the tears  
  
Through these eyes  
  
I got my schooling on the streets  
  
I've seen the things in life  
  
You don't wanna see  
  
Through these eyes I've seen the shape of things to come  
  
And I've watched them all fall apart  
  
Through these eyes  
  
I've seen the broken homes, they cry  
  
I've seen the poor man's face  
  
As he stands in line  
  
And though my heart has made me weary  
  
On a road less traveled on  
  
Through the heart it hurts so dearly  
  
And the pain it lingers on  
  
Through these eyes, I've looked the devil in the face  
  
And I've seen God's holy grace  
  
Through these eyes  
  
I've tried to walk the straighter line  
  
I found myself again  
  
But nearly lost my mind  
  
And though my heart has made me weary  
  
On a road less traveled on  
  
Through the heart it hurts so dearly  
  
And the pain it lingers on, yeah  
  
And though my heart has made me weary  
  
On a road less traveled on  
  
Through the heart it hurts so dearly  
  
And the pain it lingers on  
  
And though my heart has made me weary  
  
On a road less traveled on  
  
Through the heart it hurts so dearly  
  
And the pain it lingers on, yeah  
  
'Through These Eyes' Social Distortion  
  
  
  
  
  
He'd taken Drusilla from the school parking lot. He and William both had keys. After not being able to get anything from Doyle he started driving around town not sure where he was going. Anywhere would do. He just wanted to be alone. Away from people who would ask him if he was okay and tell him he looked bad. He'd had enough. Gripping the steering wheel tightly he pulled into the empty parking lot of the movie theater. No one came here during the day. Silence finally. As he leaned his head against the seat suddenly Buffy's face flashed in his mind. He'd been so cold to her. He did love her. It seemed like nowadays she was the only thing that kept him from really hitting rock bottom. A cold chill ran through him and he wrapped his arms around his body. His eyes drifted several times to the glove compartment. He knew what was in there. He and William kept in case of emergencies...they didn't exactly hang out or live in the best neighborhoods. His hand reached for the plastic handle but he pulled it back and felt a sick feeling come over him and jumped out of the car just in time as he began to vomit.  
  
"He took the car!" William exclaimed angrily seeing that Drusilla was gone and as Angel was missing as well it only made sense. They both had keys to the car but William primarily drove it. Angel had failed his drivers test twice before actually passing.  
  
"Where could he have gone?" Buffy asked with worry in her voice. William scratched his neck and scanned the parking lot, as it would somehow tell him where his friend had gone  
  
"I don't know but where ever we go to look for him it looks like were walking there" as he said it William's mind suddenly clicked as he remembered what was in the car. No Angel wouldn't. He took a deep breath and a sick feeling washed over him as he wondered how depressed Angel really was.  
  
"Look lets both just go home and call him then wait and see if he calls us back" Buffy said trying to keep cool. William didn't share his revelation with Buffy afraid he was overreacting.  
  
"Okay. I'm sure he's fine. He probably just wanted some time alone" the bleached blonde hoping to God he was overreacting.  
  
  
  
"Hey mom. Has Angel called at all?" was the first thing Buffy asked as she entered the kitchen. Her mother who was sitting at the table going over some paper work shook he head.  
  
"No. Didn't he go to school today?" Joyce asked without looking up from her work  
  
"No I think he's sick" Buffy said simply and started her way towards her bedroom to call Angel's house. She bit her fingernails nervously. Something in Angel's eyes had unnerved her this morning. He had just looked so lost. Whenever he was angry or upset his eyes got darker. This morning they had seemed black. She loved Angel more then anything in the world. She needed him but it was very obvious that at the moment he needed her much more.  
  
She opened her door and stopped dead in her tracks. He was sitting on the bed with his back to her.  
  
"Angel?" she whispered. She saw the muscles in his back tense but he made no other sign to acknowledge that he knew she was there. Softly she approached him and she was shocked at what she saw in his hands when she came to stand in front of him.  
  
"Angel give me that," she demanded in a shaky voice. He ran his fingers over the cold steel before finally listening to her command  
  
"I wasn't going to do anything," he swore quietly putting the 40- caliber pistol down beside him on the bed. Buffy snatched it from his reach and placed it behind her on the dresser.  
  
"Why did you have it?" she asked trying to keep her emotions in check  
  
"I...I thought about it. I was in the parking lot of the movie theater and I almost..." he choked on his words and wrapped his arms around himself. He reminded her of a little boy. He was a little boy. Just 16 years old. Too young to know such pain  
  
"Almost what?" she asked even though she knew. She had to hear him say it.  
  
"I almost killed myself," he whispered as a single tear fell down his cheek "And then I started throwing up" he looked up and saw her tears running freely down her face  
  
"Why...You were just going to leave me. Do you know what you mean to me Angel?" she asked angrily yet softly at the same time. She needed to get it through to him that she loved him.  
  
"I'm sorry Buffy. I love you too. Sometimes you're the only thing I love in this world. I'm tired Buffy. I'm tired of being hurt. I'm tired of being this big joke to everyone," he sobbed, his body shaking. She dropped to her knees in front of him  
  
"You aren't a joke to me. I love you with everything I have Angel. If something were to happen to you I would die" she said in a strong steady voice. He looked into her eyes and she saw him break even more then he already had  
  
"I need help" he finally gritted out after a moment of silence and collapsed into Buffy's comforting arms. Outside it began to pour but the sound of the rain was drowned out by Angel's sobs.  
  
  
  
  
  
This chapter was short but it took me a while to write. I know it's angsty but in the end things will be happy and the other characters will be back eventually. Stay tuned for more. 


	12. Calm After the Storm

Title: Lonely No More  
  
Chapter 12- Calm After the Storm  
  
Author: Static-disturbed...you can call me Static for short  
  
Summary- yea most of the big angst is gone! I admit I like angst but not too much. Sorry for the major lack of updates but I was sick & out of school for three days and had to do tons of makeup work plus I was having a bit of writers log. This chapter is kind of just about Angel getting back to normal life after his breakdown (my cousin called it his Mariah Carey moment) anyway enjoy. Feedback keeps me healthy. Oh and in this Angel actually wins a fight! Song is 'A new Chapter' by Whippersnapper.  
  
Disclaimer- Characters are not mine. Joss and Mutant Enemy own them I just like to borrow them and become the puppet master for a minute or two! Ha ha ha ha ha. Oh boy I got carried away again...they aren't mine that's all. The song is called "A new Chapter" by a band called 'Whippersnapper'. I don't own any of their records but I'm going to go buy one.  
  
  
  
Its time, its time to clean this slate And push our way past anger into something new and honest. To shoulder the weight, find our own way It's easier than you might think. We've heard the same excuses for too long. Is anybody listening? Did you notice that there's something missing? Or do you even care? If you're willing to try, you're willing to change It's easier than you might think. To find your own voice, sing your own song. Find our own voice, find our own way, find the strength The strength to change, sing our own song, stand alone. Its time to break away and push our way past anger into something new and hopeful. If you're willing to try, you're willing to change To shoulder the weight and find our own way. Find our own voice; sing our own song. Find our own voice, find our own way, find the strength The strength to change, sing our own song, stand alone. The time has come to turn the page to stand alone and find a way. Changing still feel the same  
  
'A New Chapter' by Whippersnapper  
  
  
  
He had Buffy's hand grasped tightly in his as they made their ways through the crowded hallway. Even though Angel knew none of them knew what had happened the night before he felt like everyone's eyes were on him. He felt vulnerable. He'd felt many things in his life but vulnerability was new. The night before after he had broke down all over Buffy they had just lain together in her bed and she had reassured him that everything was going to be okay. He had had an epiphany of sorts, lying there with her. Suddenly it was like his eyes were open for the first time. The world wasn't out to get him, maybe it seemed like that but it wasn't. Sure he had a bad life but he had Buffy. And she loved him. And that was reason enough to live. But that didn't make the anger or vulnerability go away.  
  
"William's gonna ask questions" she whispered from beside him. He nodded  
  
"I'll tell him when the time is right" Angel whispered back. Buffy smiled and rested her head on Angel's shoulder.  
  
As they approached Angel's locker they saw William there waiting wit an anxious look on his face. He started towards them as soon as he saw them  
  
"Where did you go yesterday?" he asked Angel  
  
"I was having a bad day Will. I went home" he lied "Sorry I blew up at you yesterday and all"  
  
"It's okay man," William said but he could tell Angel was lying. They had only been best friends forever. Angel put a few books in his locker and they started towards class. Angel looked around him. This was all he needed. He didn't need his stupid ass father, he didn't need his mother, he didn't need money or to be popular. This was all he needed. His girlfriend and his best friend.  
  
"Hey Buffy I thought we were gonna get ice cream" a new voice said. All three of them turned and saw Riley standing there. Angel didn't know why they wore those dumb Varsity jackets. They looked stupid.  
  
"No fish-boy you asked me and I said no" Buffy said matter of factly  
  
"Look Buffy I'm just trying to save you from this...piece of garbage" he said gesturing at Angel who stepped forward. He got in Riley's face and whispered  
  
"Come near her again and you'll have to eat ice-cream...cause you won't have any teeth"  
  
"Oh yea? Who's gonna knock out my teeth?"  
  
"Me" Angel said before punching Riley square in the jaw. The football player fell to the ground and several people tried to help him up but he angrily swatted them away and stood on his own. He went at Angel but Angel grabbed his shirt and slammed him against a locker. He was open to hit him but he pulled his hands away and let the quarterback slide down to the ground  
  
"You know what you're not even worth it" he walked back over to Bufy and Spike and everyone watched the three retreating forms.  
  
  
  
Did you like it? Not like it? Tell me. I know it's short but I'm busy people! 


	13. The ExFactor

Chapter 13- The Ex Factor  
  
Summary- Yea I know the story seems a bit...stuck but I'm working on it. In this chap we meet Darla, Angel's first girlfriend and he and Buffy get into a fight. There are only a few chapters left in this story before I end it so uh...enjoy. Song is 'Love You More' by the BUZZCOCKS. Oh and the band 'No Refuge' aren't a real band. If any of you have a band by that name it's just coincidence cause I made it up. Sappy romance stuff at the end I'm trying to make up for all the angst in the last few chapters. Oh and Angel's grand mom is in this chapter!  
  
Disclaimer- Not mine. Joss and Mutant Enemy own them. The song is 'Love you More' by a great punk rock and the BUZZCOCKS. You should buy their records if you want to hear some good punk.  
  
  
  
I'm in love again  
  
Been like this before  
  
I'm in love again  
  
This time's true I'm sure  
  
Don't wanna end up like no nine day wonder  
  
I've been hurt so many times before  
  
So my darlin' I will never leave you  
  
It's in my blood to always love you more  
  
Love you more  
  
It's my heart again  
  
That drives me so wild  
  
I just can't explain  
  
Although I'm not a child  
  
So why would I cry if you ever left me  
  
Maybe 'cos you're all I'm livin' for  
  
With every heartbeat I want you madly  
  
It's in my blood to always love you more  
  
Love you more  
  
Oh my love again  
  
What I say is true  
  
Though it may sound plain  
  
I love you  
  
And it means more to me than life can offer  
  
And if this isn't true love then I am sure  
  
That after this love there'll be no other  
  
Until the razor cuts  
  
'Love you more' the BUZZCOCKS  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
The Rat's Nest was alive with the thunderous sound of 'No Refuge' blaring. Buffy sat next to Willow watching the performance. The boys were off moshing or something like that. They had walked away and Buffy didn't know where they had gone.  
  
"So then when we were at his house is mom came home and started to yell and..." Buffy had given up trying to follow Willow's story and just nodded politely. The girl was like a Cheetah on Speed. She scanned the club and tried to spot her boyfriend but she didn't see him anywhere. Sighing she looked down at her soda  
  
"Willow, Buffy" Wesley said politely slipping into a chair.  
  
"Hey Wes"  
  
"Hi Wesley" Buffy said quietly. Things still weren't perfect between her and Wesley but they were better. He smiled at her and scanned the club. The British boy was wearing a black 'Minor Threat' shirt and blue workpants.  
  
"Where is Angel?" Wesley asked trying to prevent an awkward silence that often happened when he and Buffy were alone.  
  
"I don't know he disappeared awhile ago with Gunn," she said. Wesley nodded  
  
"William?  
  
"He's not here, visiting his mom," she explained easily rocking her head to the beat of the music. Lately she had been coming to 'The Rat's Nest' a lot more often and was starting to appreciate her boyfriend's musical taste a lot more. That first time William had put on the 'Pennywise' tape in the car she had heard nothing but loud noise but now she was starting to understand the whole 'Punk' culture a lot more. She felt a heck of a lot more comfortable with this scene then her old one even though she knew she was not a hardcore punk girl but that was okay. She liked who she was for once and didn't want to change it.  
  
  
  
  
  
Angel got up from where he was sitting with Gunn and a few of the guys from Oz's band.  
  
"I have to get back to my girlfriend," he said guiltily already feeling bad for leaving Bufy alone this long.  
  
"Tell Willow I'll be over in a minute" Oz asked from where he was engaged in a very deep conversation about guitar with one of his band mates.  
  
"Sure"  
  
"Oh my if it isn't Angel Donnelly" a new voice said slowly. Angel froze where he stood and turned to face her. Darla Simmons. Bitch of the year. She made Cordelia look like a saint. And she was his ex-girlfriend. She had long blonde hair and blue eyes. She was hot but not like Buffy. Bufy was naturally beautiful. Darla was hot in a slutty kind of way. She was fake from her eyes to her chest but she carried this whole 'punk' attitude but the truth was that she was the most material person he had ever met. He hadn't realized that until it had been too late. They had been too far into the relationship and he had been too far obsessed with her. He wasn't sure why but he had been infatuated with her. And she broke his heart. He went over her house and had found her with two different guys having sex in her mom's living room. So now he stood staring at her. She looked the same as always. Darla wore a short leather skirt and a black 'Casualties' t-shirt and spiked cuffs. She had the image she just didn't have the personality.  
  
"What are you doing here?" he gritted out thinking of Buffy just over at their table. She didn't need to know about Darla.  
  
"Just come to see you my boy," she whispered getting closer. Angel took a step backwards.  
  
"Well you saw now leave and I'm not your boy anymore" he said angrily starting to walk away but she followed him.  
  
"Angel I know you want me" she purred. Her voice made Angel sick. He couldn't' believe he had ever even been attracted to her. She was a poser bitch.  
  
"Well if it isn't slut of the year Darla Simmons" Faith commented walking up to stand beside Angel.  
  
"Hello Faith how's that loser boyfriend of yours? What's his name? Dander?" Darla asked with a disgusted voice. Her and Faith had never gotten along.  
  
"His name is Xander" Faith said angrily. Angel put his hand on her shoulder. Faith had a bad temper when it came to people insulting those she cared for.  
  
"Oh whatever. I came here to see Angel not you"  
  
"Yea well Angel's got a new girlfriend slutty and he loves her unlike you!" Faith shot.  
  
"Is this true Angel? You've found a replacement?" Darla asked with an amused smile  
  
"She's not a replacement. She's a whole new phase of my life Darla. I would never want to be with anyone like you again. I love Buffy and you are not going to ruin what I have with her. Now leave"  
  
"No I want to meet her. Where is she? Is that her sitting with the babbling fool Willow?" Darla pushed past Angel and made her way toward the table. Angel went after her but they had already caught Buffy's attention. She got up and started walking towards him. Buffy was surprised when the taller blonde girl stepped in front of her.  
  
"Who are you?" she asked  
  
"I'm Darla. Angel's first lover" Darla leered in Buffy's face. Angel could have killed her the minute he heard those words. He got in between the two and put Buffy behind him  
  
"Listen to me Darla. Get out of here. I don't want to see you again ever. You speak to any of my people and I won't hold Faith back next time" he said pointing to the angry brunette. Darla just smirked  
  
"This isn't over yet Angel," she whispered before walking out of the club.  
  
"Who was she?" Buffy asked.  
  
"She...I...can we go outside?" Angel asked. Buffy nodded and followed him outside of the club.  
  
  
  
Once outside Angel put his hands in his pockets and tried to figure out what to say to her.  
  
"Is what she said true? Did you sleep with her?" Buffy asked in a small voice. Angel slowly nodded  
  
"It was way before you moved her Buffy. I broke up with her...rather she dumped me for two guys in June. Her name's Darla she was my first girlfriend my only other girlfriend beside you" he explained hoping she wouldn't ask anything else. But Buffy continued  
  
"How long did you date her?"  
  
"Five months. We started dating right after my sixteenth birthday. I didn't realize.... she's fake. Everything about Darla is fake, not to mention she's two years older then me. I was obsessed with her for a while. I mean I was just glad to have someone and then slowly I started to realize what a bad person she was. I mean she's genuinely a bad person. But we were to far into it. I was afraid to break up with her. I was afraid to be alone so I stayed with her and then in June I went over her house and found her having sex with two guys" he finished. Buffy didn't know what to think. Obviously Darla had been a big part of Angel's life. Five-month relationship's meant something. At least when you were 16 they did. But he did seem to regret ever being with her.  
  
"Did you love her?" she asked after a moment. His eyes got wide  
  
"No Baby.... Buffy you are the only girl I have ever loved. The only girl I will ever love" he said urgently taking a step closer to her. She stepped back  
  
"Then how come you never told me about her?" she asked insecurely crossing her arms over herself.  
  
"I just thought it would be better..."  
  
"If I never knew you were...experienced?" she asked.  
  
"Is that what this is about? Sex?" he asked softly  
  
"I want to go home," she said forcefully ignoring his question  
  
"Buffy..."  
  
"No just please take me home". He stared at her for a minute before starting to walk to the car.  
  
Angel tried talking to her several times in the car but Buffy stayed quiet. Eventually he gave up and turned the radio up high. He couldn't believe she was angry with him because he never told her he had slept with Darla. He figured it wasn't something she would want to know. He stopped in front of her house and as she climbed out he asked  
  
"You trust me don't you?"  
  
"I do but I don't think you trust me" she said walking away from the car. Angel watched her go with a baffled expression.  
  
  
  
Angel paced his bedroom floor trying desperately to think of what he should do. He had tried calling Buffy's house but Crystal had told him she was asleep even though he knew she wasn't. He trusted her. He trusted her more then he trusted anyone else. He loved her! Sighing he laid down on his bed and covered his face.  
  
"Troubles?" a voice asked. He looked up and smiled at his grand mom who stood in the doorway. Age had left the woman with wrinkles on her face but it was easy to tell she had been very beautiful in her youth. Angel had always thought his grand mom looked like a lady who should wear fancy dresses and sip wine in a mansion. But instead she wore K-mart clothes and was a mother to her three grandchildren in a little house in Sunnydale.  
  
"Yea"  
  
"Tell me about them"  
  
"No thanks" he said with a small grin. He had not told his grand mom about Buffy because well she was...overprotective. She would want to meet Buffy and talk to her and show her baby pictures that no one should ever see.  
  
"It wasn't a suggestion it was an order," she said with a raised eyebrow. He laughed and then shrugged  
  
"Girlfriend problems"  
  
"Girlfriend? I wasn't aware you had a girlfriend"  
  
"I know. Well anyway this girl...her names Buffy. She...I love her" he admitted. His grandmother looked at him seriously for a minute before smiling  
  
"Doesn't sound like much of a trouble to me"  
  
"She thinks I don't trust her," he said in confusion.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because I didn't tell her about Darla" the older woman shivered at the name. She had always hated the girl and it took a lot for her to hate someone.  
  
"Why didn't you?" she asked  
  
'Because I didn't think she would want to know"  
  
"When she's right for thinking you don't trust her"  
  
"What? You're supposed to be on my side. I do trust her," he said sitting up. She smirked at him  
  
"I am always on your side Angel but you need to understand where she's coming from. Teenage girls are sensitive about certain things. Just talk to her she'll understand. And then I want to meet her". Angel smiled at his grandma as she left the room. He didn't know what he would do without her.  
  
  
  
  
  
Buffy heard the tapping at her window and sat up. When she saw the person there she lay back down and curled into the comforter.  
  
"Knock knock" he said opening the window and peering inside.  
  
"I'm sleeping," she grumbled trying to make him go away. It didn't work. She heard him climb inside and felt him sit on the side of the bed. It was quiet for a long time and she wondered he was he was doing but finally he began to speak  
  
"You don't think I trust you. I can see where you would get that from but...I trust you more then anyone else in my life and coming from me that's big. I never trusted anyone easily. I didn't tell you about Darla because I'm embarrassed. I'm embarrassed of the things I did with her and to be honest I wish that I could take it all back. I wish I hadn't lost my virginity to her cause that's something I would much rather share with you but... I didn't tell you because I felt bad about what I did with her, I felt dirty. But I don't understand how you can think I don't trust you? You're the one I came to after what happened with my dad, I came to you for help after I almost killed myself. How can you not think I trust you?" he asked. For the first time he noticed Bufy had rolled over and was looking at him  
  
"I just...I felt better thinking we were on the same level. I'm a virgin Angel and I just...I don't know when I'm going to be ready and I don't want you to be...frustrated with me" she said in a small insecure voice. Angel shook his head  
  
"Buffy...I love you. I'll never be frustrated with you because of that. When you're ready you're ready. I mean I want you to wait until your ready because I didn't wait and I wish it had never happened. When we do that it will be special and I'm willing to wait till whenever that is," he said softly looking her right in the eyes.  
  
"That was so sweet" she gushed pulling his close to lie next to her on the bed. Angel smiled and wrapped his arm around her  
  
"So you're not mad at me anymore?"  
  
"No and I was never mad at you" she said snuggling up to his chest. They sat there in silence for a minute before Angel said  
  
"Oh yea my grand mom wants to meet you" 


	14. Meeting the Family

Title: Lonely No More  
  
Author: Static-disturbed  
  
Chapter 14- Grand mom  
  
Summary: Yes I suck. I'm sorry that this update has taken so long but I've just been really busy. Plus I was having a bit of writers log with this story. I had a chpt 14 all ready to be uploaded but I didn't like it so I deleted it. Okay now that my apologies are over I can get on with this summary. In this chapter Buffy goes to Angel's house to meet his grandma, she catches Shelly in a bad mood and Trey just tries to stay out of it, while Angel wishes for once he could have a normal family. Ah just like the good old days before I went and made Angel go all suicidal. So give me feedback and tell me what you think. AOL sucks I'm sitting here trying to find a song for the new chapter and it disconnects me! Grr. Okay I found a song. It's by the Ramones. I'll say this now. If you don't know who the Ramones are and if you never heard their music I highly recommend that you go buy it. The Ramones are Punk Rock legends. The song is called 'Baby I Love you' and it just has to do with kind of Angel loving Buffy so much. Awwww....  
  
Disclaimer: This chap is fun for the whole family pretty much. Maybe a swear or a few. I don't own the characters from Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Angel. The song is 'Baby I love You' by the Ramones.  
  
Have I ever told you  
  
How good it feels to hold you  
  
It isn't easy to explain  
  
And though I'm really tryin'  
  
I think I may start cryin'  
  
My heart can't wait an other day  
  
When you kiss me I just gotta  
  
Kiss me I just gotta  
  
Kiss me I just gotta say :  
  
Baby, I love you  
  
Come on baby  
  
Baby, I love you  
  
Baby I love, I love only you  
  
I can't live without you  
  
I love everything about you  
  
I can't help it if I feel this way  
  
Oh I'm so glad I found you  
  
I want my arms around you  
  
I love to hear you call my name  
  
Oh tell me that you feel  
  
Tell me that you feel  
  
Tell me that you feel the same  
  
Baby, I love you  
  
Come on baby  
  
baby, I love you  
  
Baby I love, I love only you  
  
'Baby I love you' the Ramones  
Buffy looked up at Angel's house and took a deep breath. She was a bit nervous about meeting his grandmother; she wanted to make a good impression. She had worn a nice pair of black dress pants and a red top that Crystal had leant her. She looked good. Buffy knew that, but she wasn't sure how she should dress to meet Mrs. O'Connell. Angel had explained to her that his grandmother was his mother's mom so she had a different last name then him. Angel planned on changing his to O'Connell when he turned 18. He had said she wasn't an extremely conservative lady but when she thought of grandmothers Buffy automatically thought.... sweaters and loafers. But then again Mrs. O'Connell did have Angel as a grand son and Buffy had seen how Shelly had been dressed that night. She sure as heck hadn't been wearing a sweater and loafers. Pressing her finger to the doorbell Buffy hoped that the meeting would go well.  
  
"I got it!" Angel yelled stumbling down the stairs trying to get to Buffy before anyone else. He couldn't let them get to her. Okay so maybe he was being dramatic but there was no way he was letting Buffy alone with Shelly. His grand mom might ask some questions but Shelly was more likely to start spreading lies about him to his girlfriend. He loved his sister and for a while things had been going well. But after everything that happened with their father she had turned into the old Shelly again. And sometimes that Shelly really pissed him off.  
  
"Hey" he said opening the door to find Buffy on the other side  
  
"Hi" she said leaning up to kiss him. Angel pulled away and looked at her  
  
"Nervous?"  
  
"How'd you now?"  
  
"Lucky guess.... and you look about as pale as me right now" he said with a laugh. Buffy gasped. He took her hand and led her inside shutting the door behind them. "I was kidding Buffy. You look great.... as always"  
  
"Suck up"  
  
"Don't I know it" he said with a smile. Angel led Buffy into the living room  
  
"Grandma!! Buffy's here!" he yelled into the kitchen.  
  
"Don't shout Angel! I'll be right there," a voice said from the other room. Buffy watched in interest. It was different seeing Angel in his home. This was his environment. At school he didn't fit in. That was obvious and it was also obvious that he was uncomfortable there. Here he was in is element. This was where he had grown up. There were no Cordelia's or Riley's watching his every move, heckling him for everything he did or wore. Here he had no need to defend or prove himself. No one was judging him. And he seemed a lot calmer. He flopped down on the couch and pulled her down next to him. She took the moment to look around. The house was small, the furniture was old and un- matching but everything was kept nice and clean. The coffee table was scratched but was decorated with little lace doilies. The ancient walls were covered in framed photographs of the three children. Buffy smiled at a picture that hung above the old fireplace. It was of three small children. Two of them, a boy and girl, were only about two. The other little boy in the picture was about five. It was obviously of Angel, Trey and Shelly.  
  
"Look how cute you were" Buffy gushed standing up and beginning to inspect the pictures. Angel covered his face and groaned  
  
"Yes once I was small too"  
  
"Aw....Is that you're mom?" she asked looking at one picture that sat on the mantle. The picture was old and was of a young woman with blonde hair and green eyes.  
  
"Yea" Angel said proudly  
  
"She was so beautiful," Buffy said in awe almost. His mother reminded him of one of those glamorous old movie stars.  
  
"I know" Angel said softly. Buffy scanned a few more pictures and felt her nerves calm down. She heard door shut upstairs and soon a younger teenage boy was making his way down the steps. He had shaggy dirty blonde hair and smiled at her.  
  
"You must be Buffy. I'm Trey, Angel's brother" he reached out and she shook his hand. "Hi" Buffy said politely. Trey then turned to Angel  
  
"Shelly's having a bitch attack so I'd stay clear of her", before leaving the room.  
  
"What did he just call me?" a shrill voice asked. Buffy recognized Shelly from the night at the club. Now she was wearing sweat pants and a white t-shirt, her hair was wrapped up in a towel as she came running down the stairs.  
  
"A bitch" Trey yelled calmly from the other room.  
  
"Shell.... this is Buffy" Angel stopped her from going after Trey and turned her towards Buffy. Shelly looked at her once before rolling her eyes and going up the stairs.  
  
"Sorry she's just...."  
  
"A four-teen year old girl. Don't worry I've been there" Buffy answered calmly with a smile. Angel sighed  
  
"Well that's just the problem. I haven't. I mean how am I supposed to know what she's feeling?"  
  
"You're not. All teenage girls have mood swings. Me included" Buffy said sitting down next to him. Angel put on a fake shocked expression  
  
"You? But I thought you were prefect!"  
  
"Not perfect but pretty dam close" she answered jokingly leaning in to kiss him. Angel groaned and put his hand on the back of her head.  
  
"Sorry to interrupt" a voice said. Buffy pulled away and felt the blush covering her face as she looked up at Angel's grandmother. The older woman was wearing a white sweatshirt and jeans. She smiled  
  
"I'm sorry. That was not the impression I wanted to make" Buffy said quickly.  
  
"That's alright dear, I may be old but I am not completely unaware of the world around me. I certainly didn't think the two of you were going to the library on those dates". Buffy blushed again and Angel laughed.  
  
"Grandma this is Buffy. Buffy this is my grandmother"  
  
"Hello Mrs. O'Connell"  
  
"Please dear call me Jane, Mrs. O'Connell seems too formal. God knows I've never been anywhere formal before", Jane sat down on an armchair and smiled again. "So Buffy when did you move here?"  
  
"Right before school started. My parents divorced. My mom saw it as her chance to get out of L.A and came here. She always wanted to open her own art gallery so she did"  
  
"Well.... I'm sorry about your parents. I would love to meet your mother. Where is her gallery?"  
  
"Main and 6th. They still don't have too much inventory though".  
  
"Grandma where did you put my black boots?" Shelly emerged at the bottom of the stairs.  
  
"Shelly, did you say hello to Buffy?" Jane asked. Shelly looked to Buffy  
  
"Hi" she forced out in a hard unfriendly voice.  
  
"Hi" Buffy said offering a smile to the angry girl. Angel shot Shelly daggers  
  
"What?" his sister snapped, "I said hello"  
  
"Would it kill you to use manners? I mean....", Shelly cut him off  
  
"Oh please like your Mr. Manners. This is such a show Angel...."  
  
"Shut up! Trey's right you are in a bitchy mood!" Angel yelled back. Buffy sat there uncomfortably while Jane put her head in her hands and sighed. Trey entered the room with a bag of cookies. He looked at Angel and Shelly who were engaged in a very loud yelling/insulting match and then to Buffy  
  
"Want a cookie?".  
"I really am sorry about tonight" Angel apologized again. They were on his front porch.  
  
"It's okay Angel. I have a sister. I know it happens sometimes"  
  
"Yea but.... it isn't just sometimes. She's like that all the time. And I know I don't help much yelling back at her but...I don't know how to help her. I mean I'm scared to death thinking she's going through the same thing I was going through...."  
  
"She's not Angel.... trust me. She's angry. I mean who wouldn't be in her position. This is about the time in her life that she needs a mom. Your grandma may try but it's just not the same thing. She needs a girl she can talk to about things. He needs someone to tell her that it's normal to feel how she feels" Buffy explained. When she looked up Angel was looking at her with a suspicious look. "No Angel not me. She doesn't like me...."  
  
"Buffy please, just talk to her like a big sister or something. Please...." he looked at her with his big brown eyes and Buffy sighed.  
  
"Fine...but not tonight. She needs time to cool down. I'll come bye tomorrow"  
  
"Thank you. You're the best girlfriend ever. I love you," he said happily. Buffy grinned  
  
"I love you too. I'm glad I met your family. Your grandma is very cool and so is Trey and I'm sure Shelly is when she calms down"  
  
"She is. They're cool usually...kiss me" he said out of nowhere. Buffy didn't argue.  
  
"Okay"  
Whoa finally. I promise no more big gaps between updates like that again. Please give me feedback 


	15. Sister Interlude

Chapter. 15  
  
Summary- Buffy goes to talk to Shelly. And Angel and William set out to find Drusilla (the girl not the car). I'm not sure how many more chapters there will be to this but probably no more then 5. But you never know. Anyway I want to thank everyone who continues to give me feedback even when I stupidly don't up-date for a month. There are too many of you to list. And Angel is so awesome. I mean.... I hope Cordy is evil and Angel kills her and then goes back to Buffy. This is my dream. Cordelia stinks. I used to like her but now...can you say slut? Angel, Connor and now the beast? My goodness that girl gets around. And Buffy is getting good again. I'm actually watching again. I love Andrew he's so cute. I was crying during the last episode when he thought Buffy was gonna kill him and all. It was so....ahh. Ok let's get to the story now. Angelus rocks! I love that laugh (shivers)  
  
Disclaimer- The only ones I own are Shelly, Trey and Grandma. I guess I don't fully own Shelly cause she is loosely based off a friend of mine. But anyway enjoy!!! Feedback remember. Ah the song is called 'Panic Song' and it's by a little band you may have heard of called Green Day. It's just about desperation and wanting to escape the world. Maybe it doesn't exactly go with the chapter but I like it so ha ha It's my story!!!!!!!!  
Ready for a cheap escape  
  
On the brink of self destruction  
  
Widespread panic  
  
Broken glass inside my head  
  
Bleeding down these thoughts of  
  
Anguish... mass confusion  
  
The world is a sick machine  
  
Breeding a mass of shoot  
  
With such a desolate conclusion  
  
Fill the void with... I don't care  
  
There's a plague inside of me  
  
Eating at my disposition  
  
Nothing's left  
  
Torn out of reality  
  
Into a state of no opinion  
  
Limp with hate  
  
The world is a sick machine  
  
Breeding a mass of shoot  
  
With such a desolate conclusion  
  
Fill the void with... I don't care  
  
I wanna jump out!  
  
'Panic Song' Green Day  
Shelly groaned when she heard the doorbell. It was Saturday and that meant she should be able to sleep as late as she wanted. But no, someone had to wake her up. No one else was home. She vaguely remembered Angel telling her he was going to Williams, Trey had slept at a friends and her grandma was at work. Ignoring the bell she buried her head deeper into her pillow. But the bell rang again. She stumbled from the bed nearly tripping over her shoes and made her way slowly toward the door. Her head was pounding and she was sure she looked like hell. She knew she felt like it. Yesterday's fight with Angel had left her every upset and she had spent the whole night partying trying to forget about it.  
  
Buffy tried to smile at the younger girl when she opened the door but found it hard. Shelly's eyes were blood shot, her face was pale, her hair stuck up in all directions not to mention she smelled like liquor and cigarettes.  
  
"Angel isn't here" Shelly gritted out before starting to shut the door. Buffy stopped it with her hand.  
  
"I know he isn't. I'm here to talk to you", she said calmly  
  
"Why would you talk to me?" Shelly asked her short temper beginning to wear off. Buffy saw her clenching her fists but made no move to walk away. This was Angel's sister. Angel had asked her to do this. She couldn't just back off without at least trying  
  
"I just thought we could have a chat you know? Girl to girl?" she asked. She didn't want to seem like she was lecturing but at the same time she couldn't come off to soft, Shelly would walk all over her.  
  
"Really?" for a minute Shelly sounded excited but then her face fell and Buffy understood she was being sarcastic "No thanks"  
  
"Angel asked me to come. He's worried about you" Buffy finally said. The brunette took a deep breath.  
  
"Angel doesn't need to worry about me...I told him that a zillion times. He feels guilty.... I don't want to be his guilt trip", she said angrily.  
  
"Angel doesn't have anything to feel bad for. If anyone should be apologizing it's you. You have no idea what he's been through these past few months. I do and trust me it wasn't very pretty". For a second Shelly seemed concerned but soon her face was unreadable. She was good at hiding her emotions. Shelly was a lot like her brother Buffy decided. They stood there on the porch for a second in silence before Shelly spoke  
  
"Listen you don't know me...."  
  
"But I do" Buffy interrupted. "I was you. Maybe we weren't in the same situations but I was just like you, I was angry at the world for giving me a crappy life so I lashed out at everyone around me. I did everything I could to make other people feel bad about themselves because I was unhappy I decided everyone else should be unhappy too! And you know what? For a while it did work. But then I started to realize everyone hated me. My mom and sister.... they hated what I had become. And that just made me hate myself more" Buffy took a breath "You lash out at Angel and Trey and your grand mom because they're happy. They're dealing with all the horrible things that have happened to them and you don't know how too. You need to learn to deal before your family starts to hate what you're becoming". Shelly was staring at her feet by the time Buffy was finished talking. Gone was the cocky, pissed off teenager from a few minutes earlier replaced by a vulnerable little girl who was facing reality she had been hiding from her whole life. She hated who she was. She hated going on and getting hammered, and the fact that she was known around school for being easy. It made her sick. She especially hated that people were frightened of her. It wasn't a good feeling, but she only had herself to blame. This was reality. She couldn't blame her mom or dad or her grand mom or her brothers. In the end she was the one who controlled how she lived her life. Shelly looked up at Buffy through tear-glazed eyes and the older girl sighed. "Shelly...lets go inside. You can get a shower and then you and me can talk some more. I just...I'm not trying to take Angel away form you if that's what you think". Shelly looked down. The thought had crossed her mind, ever since Buffy had come along Angel spent less and less tome at home with them. She had been bitter at Buffy because of that. But now she was starting to see how wrong she had been. Buffy loved Angel. And he loved her. She was what he needed.  
  
"Lets go inside" Shelly said finally offering the other girl a small smile. For once she felt a clam inside her body. Maybe she wasn't entirely alone in how she felt.  
"Will where exactly are we headed?" Angel asked from the passenger seat of their old battered car. William had called him early this morning and told him to get dressed and be ready to go. Go where, he wasn't exactly sure.  
  
"Were gonna find her" William swore. Angel looked confused  
  
"Find who?"  
  
"Drusilla"  
  
"Drusilla? The same Drusilla you met what two years ago when you were 14? Will you can't be serious", Angel said, but William didn't look like he was joking. "Come on you knew the girl for what a week? Then she disappeared. And it was two years ago man"  
  
"How long were you dating Buffy before you decide you loved her...Oh wait you hadn't even decided you were dating when you declared your love for one another in the middle of the street!" his best friend snapped. Angel shrunk down into his seat.  
  
"Whatever, just how do you plan on finding her though?" Angel asked giving up on trying to talk his best friend out of his plan. William just grinned and reached into the backseat. He pulled out something and showed it to Angel  
  
"The white pages?" Angel asked. William handed the book to his friend and smiled  
  
"Start looking up Meyers" 


	16. Mystery Girl

Chapter 16  
  
Summary- I return. All right the song in this chapter is called '(The Girl Is) An Unsolved Mystery'. I want to tell people how I find my lyrics for each chapter. I go to Plyrics.com, which is just like a giant library of punk lyrics. I search by any topic and like that I have a list of songs to pick from. It's a really cool site. Ok this chapter is basically just William and Angel until the end. I like the William (Spike)/Drusilla pairing so if you don't then I wouldn't read the rest of this story cause it's gonna be in here. Ok enjoy. Bu bye  
  
The song is called 'An Unsolved Mystery' by a band called Groovie Ghoulies.  
  
Rating: PG-13 The 'F' word used once in this chapter.  
  
Nobody knows, nobody knows where she appeared.  
  
Yeah, no one thinks, nobody thinks that that is weird.  
  
No one has ever seen inside the place where she resides.  
  
No one has ever spent any amount of time by her side.  
  
The girl is an unsolved mystery.  
  
She means everything in the world to me.  
  
I'd like to get her face to face.  
  
I'd really like to crack this case.  
  
I'd like to get her face to face.  
  
I'd really like to solve this case.  
  
(The Girl Is) An Unsolved Mystery- Groovie Ghoulies  
  
"How do you know she even lives in Sunnydale?". Angel asked opening the heavy telephone book and scanning the tops of the pages for M. William ignored his question mainly because he didn't want to think of what would happen if Angel was right. He had been dreaming about this girl every night for almost three years. He was going to find her. Sure he had dated other girls but in the back of his mind her face had always been there. Drusilla Meyers. Her long dark hair, her deep eyes, her blood red lips and porcelain white skin had haunted him.  
  
"The first one is Ashdale Street" William started towards the street and looked at Angel  
  
"How did the whole Buffy meeting the crew go?"  
  
"Just great...me and Shelly almost murdered each other but other then that it was good. Grandma likes her", William let out a snort and drummed his fingers on the steering wheel nervously. Angel knew William wanted to ask him something but he was afraid to.  
  
"Will"  
  
"Yea?"  
  
"Everything ok?"  
  
"Yea I mean...You're ok right? Whatever was going on with you before.... you're ok now?" Angel seemed to shrink down in his seat. He knew this time would come. He couldn't keep it a secret from William forever.  
  
"Yea I'm ok now"  
  
"But you weren't before" Will stated. Angel shook his head 'no' slowly  
  
"No I wasn't.... I was going through some stuff"  
  
"Stuff you couldn't tell me?" William asked. Angel looked down at his hands, out the window, anywhere but his friends face. He had always felt like he could tell William anything. They were best friends till the end. They'd die for one another. But he had been afraid to tell William about that day.... how do you tell your best friend you almost killed your self? He had been afraid that he would be looked at differently in his friend's eyes. The last thing he had wanted was Will treating him like some fucking doll. He still was afraid. He didn't want things to be awkward between them.  
  
"Yea stuff I couldn't tell anyone...." he started but William cut him off  
  
"You told Buffy"  
  
"Not until...my dad wrote us a letter. And Shelly went to meet him and he wasn't there. It kind of got me a little depressed for a while. You know that event just added to the stress of our fucked up lives.... I'm fine now though"  
  
"But that day at school.... something happened that day didn't it?" If it was possible Angel got even smaller in his seat. He ran his hand through his thick, red, gelled spikes and looked up at William  
  
"Yea something happened"  
  
"What?"  
  
"I drove to the movie theater parking lot.... I thought about killing myself...then I went to Buffy's. I took the gun up to her room with me. She came in..... she helped me" Angel said bluntly. There was no way of putting it softly. Angel watched Williams's fingers grip the steering wheel and saw him try to calm down. Eventually they pulled over to the side of the road. Angel felt like a small child not knowing how his best friend would react.  
  
"You could have.... you could have come to me", William half yelled sounding confused  
  
"I know that Will, it wasn't even a matter of that.... I didn't want to be treated differently"  
  
"By me? You know me Angel I wouldn't treat you different.... I would have helped you"  
  
"I was scared! The last think I needed was my best friend treating me like some freaking rag doll. I'm ok now don't worry about it" Angel yelled  
  
"Don't worry about it? I don't mean to sound like some freaking pansy ass but I do love you, you stupid jackass. You're my best friend how to do expect me to deal with this?" William asked. Angel sighed and covered his face with his hands.  
  
"You see you're angry...Will me and you are best friends nothing is gonna change that. Not girls not anything.... I should have told you but at the moment I wasn't exactly thinking clearly. I was pissed because you knew something was wrong that morning. I was pissed at everything. My world kind of just.... crumbled. But only for a minute. It was a momentary loss of sanity and now I'm better. I can deal. I'm sorry I didn't tell you", Angel took a deep breath and looked over at his friend. William was staring forward.  
  
"You shouldn't apologize...I'm glad you're ok now. Angel just...remember you can talk to me about anything ok?"  
  
"I know I can and I Will from now on...now lets stop acting like an old married couple and find your mystery girl".  
Three hours and about fifty-five 'Meyers' later they had yet to find Drusilla. William was beginning to grow discouraged. It had seemed like such a good plan in his head. But what if Angel was right? What if she didn't even live in Sunnydale? What if she just wasn't listed in the book? Sighing he continued driving toward the next house.  
  
"I have a good feeling.... this is it" Angel said suddenly from beside him. William huffed  
  
"I hope your right Angel I don't know how more of this I can take.... I need to find her"  
  
"You will...this is her I don't know how I know I can just feel it" Angel said. Somehow deep in his stomach he knew that William was about to find his girl. William pulled up outside the house and looked at it. It was a nice, small single home with daisies planted in the front yard. He gulped. Angel was right. He could feel her. She was here he knew it. He had fallen in love with this girl almost three years ago and now he was about to see her again...he could feel it. He looked to Angel from reassurance. His friend just grinned and gestured to the house  
  
"We didn't drive all this time for you to sit here and look stupid. Now go!". William nodded and climbed from the car looking down at his clothes, which consisted of his 'Ramones' hoodie and baggy jeans. He ran a hand through his short bleached hair. Finally he started up the path then up the stairs till he stood on the front porch. He only knocked once before he heard an angelic voice call out  
  
"Hold on!". The door opened and he was greeted with a sight he had waited forever to see. She stood there, her dark hair flowed freely down her back, she wore a long sleeve white t-shirt and a long black skirt with fishnets underneath and to top it off big black combat boots. He was unsure what to say so he just stared in awe for a minute. She seemed to do the same before a sly smile spread across her face  
  
"Spike?" he grinned. She had given him that nickname during the short week they had spent time together.  
  
"Yea that would be me...funny I've been looking for ya for a long time and now I don't know what to say to you" he felt like there was a creature on his stomach trying to jump out. She calmed his nerves with a smile. She had a very unique smile, it almost looked evil but to him it was comforting.... beautiful.  
  
"My Spike.... I thought about you a lot" she reached up and touched his hair. Even he was willing to admit she was a bit bazaar but that was what he liked about her.  
  
Angel watched from the car. He could remember being 14 and thinking the girl was completely insane. Didn't look like much had changed but as long as Will was happy that was all that mattered. He leaned out the car window  
  
"You plan on being here a long time?", William looked at him before looking back to Drusilla. She grinned  
  
"Come inside I want you to meet everyone". Will looked back to Angel  
  
"You can go...I'll get a ride home later"  
  
"All right.... have fun" and with that Angel started the drive towards his own home to see how Buffy and Shelly had made out.  
Did you like? I'm sorry for the wait for an up-date again I have been occupied and I was sick again. I get sick a lot. So tell me what you thought. 


	17. Opening Old Wounds

Chapter 17- Enter Mr. Giles  
  
Summary: Hello people. Angelfirenze, I made a character names Jocelyn who will be in the next chapter. That is your character ok? I didn't know what to name her or whatever so I just kind came up with something. You're gonna be a friend of Drusilla.... I hope that's okay. I'll try to up-load it tomorrow on your birthday. K? Good. Now in this chapter we meet Mrs. Summers new boyfriend...Rupert Giles. Come on I couldn't just leave him out of the story. The song is 'I Feel So' by Box Car Racer. Great song and great band.  
  
Sometimes  
  
I wish I was brave  
  
I wish I was stronger  
  
I wish I could feel no pain  
  
I wish I was young  
  
I wish I was shy  
  
I wish I was honest  
  
I wish I was you not I  
  
'Cause  
  
I feel so mad  
  
I feel so angry  
  
I feel so callused  
  
So lost, confused, again  
  
I feel so cheap  
  
So used, unfaithful  
  
Let's start over  
  
Let's start over  
  
Sometimes  
  
I wish I was smart  
  
I wish I made cures for  
  
How people are  
  
I wish I had power  
  
I wish I could lead  
  
I wish I could change the world  
  
For you and me  
  
'Cause  
  
I feel so mad  
  
I feel so angry  
  
I feel so callused  
  
So lost, confused, again  
  
I feel so cheap  
  
So used, unfaithful  
  
Let's start over  
  
Let's start over  
  
'Cause  
  
I feel so mad  
  
I feel so angry  
  
I feel so callused  
  
So lost, confused, again  
  
I feel so cheap  
  
So used, unfaithful  
  
Let's start over  
  
Let's start over  
  
I feel so mad  
  
I feel so angry  
  
I feel so callused  
  
So lost, confused, again  
  
I feel so cheap  
  
So used, unfaithful  
  
Let's start over  
  
Let's start over  
  
I Feel So- Box Car Racer  
  
Angel entered the house and was surprised to see Buffy and Shelly sitting together on his living room floor.... talking...civilized.... no nail scratches or pulled hair.  
  
"Hi Angel" Shelly said looking up at her older brother and smiled. Angel seemingly shocked looked over his shoulder before looking back to his sister. He was way more surprised when she got up and wrapped him in a tight hug. Slowly he hugged her back. She pulled away and smiled at the look on his face.  
  
"Hi"  
  
"Hi Angel" Buffy spoke up with a smile on her face. He grinned at her.  
  
"I'll go upstairs" Shelly volunteered disappearing. Angel reached down and helped Buffy up  
  
"I don't know what you did but God bless you," he said dramatically. Buffy laughed  
  
"All she needed was a little girl-to-girl talk...it was fun". Angel grinned  
  
"You're the best"  
  
"I know"  
  
Later That Night  
  
"Bye"  
  
"Bye"  
  
"No really I mean it good-bye.... stop making that face"  
  
"What face?"  
  
"That face that makes me wanna kiss you again", Angel laughed at his girlfriend and leaned down to give her one last kiss. He smiled as he remembered the night of their first kiss. He had been so nervous that night he had almost fainted. Well that might have had something to do with being knocked unconscious before hand but still it had been magic. Pulling away he smiled at her. He was about to say something when the sound of a car pulling into the driveway startled them. Buffy looked at it with curiosity and she got even more curious when her mom got out of the passenger side of the strange car.  
  
"Mom? I thought you were inside" the blonde girl said starting down the steps to meet her mother. Joyce actually looked nervous and Buffy understood when a man got of the passenger side of the car. Buffy put her hands on her hips and her eyes went wide. "You snuck out with a boy?! That's supposed to be my job!" Angel came down the steps and stood behind Buffy with a small grin on his face.  
  
"Buffy honey.... I thought you and Angel were going to be out later..."  
  
"Oh so how long have you been sneaking around behind my back with...who is he anyway?" Buffy gestured to the man who was still standing by the car and had been quiet the whole time. He looked about her mother's age and wore glasses and a tweed suit.  
  
"He looks familiar" Angel spoke up walking closer to get a good look at the man.  
  
"Hey yea...." Buffy said coming to stand next to Angel. They both looked at the man for a few seconds before he finally spoke  
  
"My name is Rupert Giles...I'm the librarian at your school but I suppose you wouldn't know that.... maybe if any teenagers these days actually read instead of listening to that.... noise you call music..." Angel and Buffy both stared at Mr. Giles with black stares.  
  
"No I don't think that's it" Angel started "Are you sure I never saw you at the Rat's Nest?" Joyce put her hand on Angel's shoulder while Rupert looked confused.  
  
"Angel"  
  
"Yea Mrs. Summers?"  
  
"Go home"  
  
"All right.... bye" he said to Buffy before walking off.  
  
"Why don't we all go inside and have something to drink?" Joyce suggested tensely. Buffy eyed Rupert suspiciously the whole way inside.  
  
"Honey.... Mr. Giles and I met at the gallery...." Joyce looked over at Rupert and smiled. He smiled back at her. Buffy let out a disgusted sound  
  
"Ew. Adult googily eyes...my mother making googily eyes... this is too much.... does Crystal know about this?"  
  
"Yes honey... Crystal doesn't react to situations the way you do"  
  
"What's that supposed to mean?"  
  
"I mean Crystal isn't as... never mind. Buffy Rupert is very nice I'm sure you'll grow to like him once eve been together for a while...."  
  
"Ewww...I need to go.... tear my eyes out" Buffy stood up and started up the stairs. Joyce sighed and looked at Rupert  
  
"That went well".  
"It was horrible"  
  
"Sounds it"  
  
"Angel I'm serious. My mom has a boyfriend it's.... wrong"  
  
"Your right"  
  
"What?"  
  
"I mean how dare she like...try to move on or something"  
  
"Angel! You're supposed to be on my side", he turned to her in the hallway and put his hands on her shoulders  
  
"Buffy I'm always on your side. I'm just saying.... give the guy a chance. Give your mom the chance at being happy"  
  
"You suck.... stop being sensible," she pouted. Angel shook his head and kissed her forehead.  
  
"I have to go find Will and get details on his big reunion with the nut bag.... I mean Drusilla. You want to come?" he asked.  
  
"No you go ahead.... I'm going to go to class like were supposed to"  
  
"See now your being the sensible one," he said with a laugh before walking away down the empty hall. Buffy watched him go before heading off to class.  
  
Buffy took a seat in the back row of her History class. Angel had definitely rubbed off on her. Sighing she half-heartedly tried to take notes but her mind was too pre-occupied. She couldn't get the image of her mom and that guy...Mr. Giles out of her head. She did want her mom to be happy but.... it was weird. Her mom.... was probably kissing that guy.... maybe even having sex! No he was a librarian.... librarians didn't have sex. Of course they had sex her mom was probably sleeping with him. They were probably gonna get married and have a bunch of babies and dress them in tweed! Buffy took a deep breath and shook her head. She was definitely over reacting. It wasn't that her mom was dating that was bothering her. This whole thing was re-opening the wounds of her parents divorce. It was reopening the wounds her father had caused.  
Next Part Up tomorrow hopefully! Stay tuned. 


	18. Closure of Some Kind

Chapter Title: Closure of some Kind  
  
Summary: Ok I am so sorry that it's been so long since an up-date. I've had a lot of crap going on. SO SORRY. Anyway this chapter is packed full of it. Jocelyn (for you Angelfirenze. You're part is very small but you may be in other chapters) will be Drusilla's best friend. Um there is some Buffy angst happening. And a flashback!! Sad flashback but still. Oh and I know the last chapter was sooo confusin. That isn't how I typed it but I was rushing so I never checked it after I uploaded it. I will re-post that later. Sorry. Ok. There is child abuse in this chapter. You've been warned  
  
Disclaimer: If I owned any of them I wouldn't have such a crappy computer.  
  
Today is my birthday party! (my real b-day is Tuesday) I got $150! I'm so happy.  
  
DISCLAIMER (yes again)- There is descriptions of CHILD ABUSE in this chapter. I didn't realize really till now that it might make some people uncomfortable. So just to warn you. And alcoholism. Serious chapter. It's late I hope this chapter doesn't suck :) Oh and there's no song for this chapter cause I don't feel like delaying this anymore looking for a song.  
  
"Tell me the truth Hank!"  
  
"Shut-up you stupid bitch", she didn't even winch at the sound of her mother being slapped. She was numb to it all now. From where she sat curled up at the top of the stairs Buffy could hear everything very clearly. They were so loud she probably would have been able to hear them clearly from a block away.  
  
"Buffy?" a voice hissed. Buffy didn't even turn around. Crystal tugged on her ten year old sisters arm. "Come on before dad comes up". Buffy didn't budge. She seemed almost hypnotized as she listened to the screams of her mother. Tears formed in Crystal's eyes as she pulled on her sister who was like dead weight. The same thing happened almost every night. Their father came home late, reeking of alcohol. Their mother would ask where he had been and he would either scream at her or beat her. The sound of heavy footsteps coming towards them startled Crystal and she pulled harder on her sister. "Buffy please he's coming". Suddenly Buffy snapped out of her daze and climbed to her feet but it was too late. Their father appeared on the stairs and spotted them.  
  
"Why aren't you in bed?" he growled stumbling towards them. The two girls backed up towards their bedroom.  
  
"We...."  
  
"Fucking little eavesdroppers" he swore loudly and got closer. Buffy began to cry and he grabbed her roughly on the arms and lifted her against the wall. She was sure there would be bruises shaped like finger marks on her arm the next day. She cried harder and he lifted her up slamming her hard against the wall  
  
"Shut the hell up little bitch. So nosy just like your mother... the two of you don't nothing but boss me around. Always want to know where I am" he slammed her again. Her little body ached and Crystal screamed and pulled at her father. He backhanded her across the face and sent the other little girl falling to the floor, blood dripping from her mouth. He turned back to Buffy  
  
"Don't' worry you're sisters mother was a whore too" he dropped her to the ground and stomped away.  
  
END FLASHBACK ------------------------------------------------------- END FLASHBACK  
  
"Buffy? Buffy?" she snapped from her daze and found herself staring into the concerned eyes of her boyfriend. Angel searched her face with a curious frown. "You all right?" he questioned. Buffy tried to compose herself and offered him a shaky smile  
  
"Fine". Angel didn't push it any further but knew that something was up. Buffy had been acting completely spaced out for days. They were in the Rat's Nest, it was Friday night and Buffy was out of it.  
  
Meanwhile Buffy sat trying to figure out what had triggered the unsuspected flashback to the hell that was her childhood. A familiar smell assaulted her nose and suddenly she knew exactly what the trigger had been. Her eyes fell on Angel's open bottle of beer and it clicked. She remembered how foul her father had smelled that night. How the smell of liquor had burned her nose as he had slammed her against the wall. It wasn't the first time she had smelled beer since then but with all that was going on now. She had been thinking none stop about her father since she had met her mom's new boyfriend. Her hand traveled to her thigh where she traced the familiar line of the scar with her finger. It had been there since she was twelve. Her father had sliced her with a broken beer bottle. Her eyes watered as she remembered how much it had hurt.  
  
"Angel?" her voice was no more then a whisper  
  
"Yea?"  
  
"Can we get out of here? I don't feel so well". He nodded and stood up and turned to Spike and told him what was happening. As they walked out Buffy noticed Angel wincing and that he seemed a bit unsteady  
  
"Are you okay to drive?" she asked as they made their way to the car.  
  
"I'm fine," he said not thinking logically about it. She saw him almost trip and stopped  
  
"No you aren't.... you're drunk Angel I'm gonna go get someone to drive us..."  
  
"I'm fine" he raised his voice a bit and opened the car door. Buffy didn't move "Are you coming or not? What the hell Buffy?" he asked angrily. She knew he was drunk and he didn't mean what he was doing but she slowly backed away. Angel slammed his head down and kicked himself for being an ass-hole. After everything he knew about her father he should have known better but he was drunk and alcohol always tended to affect him in very unflattering ways. That was why he tried avoiding drinking a lot. But right now he was half smashed and he knew it.  
  
"Buffy I'm sorry. I'm drunk", she stopped and turned around and looked at him. He had his head lying on top of the car.  
  
"Like I said. I'm gonna go get Spike".  
  
At noon the next the day Buffy heard the doorbell ring. She knew who it was and slowly descended the stairs. No one else was home. Her mother was working extra hours and Crystal was out. She slowly opened the door and looked out at him. He wore baggy black pants equipped with a pocket chain and a white button down shirt. The outfit was topped off with sunglasses obviously trying to aid the ills of his hangover. He raised the glasses and squinted in the sun giving her a sheepish look.  
  
"Headache?" she asked quietly not looking at him. He nodded. "Good" she concluded. Angel knew he deserved it.  
  
"Buffy I'm sorry for being an ass last night. I was drunk...."  
  
"I got that much" she cut him off under her breathe. Angel sighed.  
  
"Look I'm sorry ok?". She said nothing but moved to the side and gestured for him to come inside. He did so and followed her into the living room. They sat at opposite sides of the couch and Angel started to speak  
  
"What's been going on with you lately? I mean you seem...like something's bothering you". She looked down at her hands  
  
"My dad. I've been thinking about him a lot since my mom started going out with this new guy". He nodded and it hit him. She had told him a lot about her father's drunken rages. His abuse. Last night he had been no better then her father. A drunken idiot  
  
"Buffy..."  
  
"I need you to understand Angel. Last night you scared me...for a spilt second I could see my father in your eyes"  
  
"Buffy I would never hurt you...."  
  
"I know but Angel you saw what just a few beers did to you last night...."  
  
"I know. I get.... really stupid when I drink. That's why I don't a lot. Last night I just...let go and I'm sorry"  
  
"You can't drink anymore", she concluded. He nodded and Buffy looked down at her lap tears forming in her eyes. "I keep thinking about my dad...I keep remembering all the things he did to me," she whispered. Angel moved so he sat next to her and wrapped his arms around her. He was more then surprised when she stood up and started undoing her pants  
  
"What are you doing?" she just dropped her pants so she stood in her underwear. She took his hands and ran it over the scar on her thigh with tears in her eyes  
  
"He did this to you?" Angel whispered tears in his eyes. She nodded  
  
"When I was 12...with a beer bottle," she cried reaching down to pull her pants up again. Angel pulled her to him and let her cry. "I never told anyone about that before not even Crystal.... there are more. One on my back, one on my stomach. He made me ugly" she sobbed the old insecurities she had suffered in L.A creeping to the surface. Angel grabbed her arms and made her face him. There were tears in his eyes as well Buffy noted.  
  
"You are not ugly. You never could be. You are the most beautiful thing in the world no matter what you're father said. I love you", he told her. A small smile finally appeared on Buffy's face and she buried her head in his neck  
  
"I love you too.  
  
Two nights later at the Rat's Nest Buffy was sitting in the Rat's Nest. Willow was talking off her ear as usual. Drusilla was babbling about the stars alignment to Spike and Jocelyn, Drusilla's best friend was sitting next to her reading 'You Don't Know Me' by David Klass. Buffy didn't know anyone else who could read in such a loud place. Angel slid into the chair next to her and grinned. Spike got up and turned to Angel  
  
"You want a beer mate?"  
  
"No thanks" Angel answered. Buffy smiled and leaned over and kissed his cheek.  
  
"Thank you"  
  
"No thank you".  
  
At the same time in Los Angeles Hank Summers sat down to read a letter he had received that day.  
  
'Dear Hank,  
  
I have tried to forget you. I have tried to pretend you never existed. But it doesn't work. Even after we left you, you were still ruining my life. You're voice still haunts me the same way it did when I was so little. For too long you have affected me in a negative way and I won't stand for it any longer. For the longest time you made me think there was something wrong with me. Now I realize, you're the one with the problems. I have met a boy who has showed me what real love is. Who makes me feel beautiful and loves me. He's ten times the man you'll ever be. I just want you to know that I hate you. But you're my father and I wish that you would get help. This is my closure. I'm ending this stage of my life right now. I'm not going to let you control my life anymore.  
  
Your daughter,  
  
Buffy Summers'  
  
Hank Summers growled and threw the paper across the room. Suddenly he looked around and realized for the first time he was all-alone. Suddenly he realized what he lost and that he would never get it back.  
  
THANK GOD. It's been forever and I hope you all liked it, Give me feedback. I need it...or I'll die.... it's true.... my doctor said... 


	19. A New Beginning

Title: Things Are Looking Up  
  
Summary: Yes sadly this is the last chapter to this story. But do not fear! I am thinking up ideas for the sequel as you read this. I'm too in love with this AU world I created now to just let it go. Next story will focus a lot more on the other characters in the story (William, Drusilla, Xander, Faith) but will still be devoutly B/A. Hey you never know I might have the first chapter posted in a few days. :) Look out for it. Not sure of the title yet though. Anyway I wanna thank everyone who gave me feedback throughout this whole story. Especially Angelfirenze, you've been rad. Hopefully you will all read my next story. Well then everyone enjoy this chapter and look out for the sequel coming to a computer near you soon. Corny I know. It's kinda fluffy I know and I pretty much hate really fluffy stuff but this story had a lot of angst so what the hell? Don't worry the next story won't be all fluffy with no plot. This is very short but don't cry. Sequel soon!!!! I promise. In the mean time go read 'The Boys Next Door' chapter2.  
  
Buffy watched the thongs of students as they ran from the school building, a look of freedom on their faces. It was the last day of school and just about everyone was in a mad rush to get home and not waist one valuable minute of summer vacation. A path developed in the mass of people and Cordelia and her entourage made their way through. Riley was there too, with a satisfied grin on his face as he wrapped his arm around Cordelia. It only fit that the two most egotistical people had found each other. She gave it a week before Cordelia was drooling all over Parker again.  
  
"Do you ever miss it?" Buffy looked over at Angel. The two of them were waiting for William to get out of detention. Leave it to him to get detention on the last day of school. He had decided as an end of the year prank to let two-dozen frogs go in principal Snyder's office. Buffy and Angel had found it funny. Principal Snyder not so much.  
  
"Miss what?"  
  
"Being one of them. Walking behind Cordelia with everyone envying you?" he elaborated. Buffy took a deep breath and smiled at her boyfriend.  
  
"There are moments I do. I mean things are just easier when you live like that. But I would never want to become that person I was again. I mean.... you've shown me a lot Angel and you taught me a lot. And one of those things is that... I'd rather be hated for who I am then loved for who I'm not". Angel grinned.  
  
"Good to know...that was very poetic by the way". Buffy elbowed him and kissed him at the same time. Just at that moment William came running from the double doors.  
  
"Free at last!" he exclaimed jumping down all of the stairs and landing on the sidewalk with a thud. Angel and Buffy laughed and joined him. The three started to walk down the street. Angel wrapped his arm over Buffy's shoulders.  
  
"So what are you're plans this summer Will?"  
  
"I don't know...sleep.... eat.... see some shows.... sleep.... eat...hang with my girlfriend...eat...hang with my girlfriend...eat...how bout you Angel?"  
  
"Sounds good". Buffy laughed the whole way home. Things were definitely finally looking up.  
  
--  
THE END (For now...remember Angel, Buffy and Will still have senior year to deal with) 


End file.
